poemranker ::i'm bad at waiting by silvertongueddevil

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Free verse № 1493

i'm bad at waiting

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 6 comments

i'm bad at waiting - i can only wait for one thing at a time it's you i'm waiting, like a chick in an egg, junior feathers slicked, cramped in the dark, nose to knees and heels to buttocks, arms folded where they fit, my cheek pressed to the shell which is the days between us slowly thinning, opaque to the last moment, when i see you in the distance.

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.64 rank 2174 views 158 View voting details →

18 votes so far. Yours would make 19.18 votes so far

6 comments

[9] hoopoe 21-May-02/4:00 PM Reply
Brilliant!

I LOVE it!!
sopoignantfunnylisteningcute
[8] deleted user 24-Jun-02/2:30 AM Reply
it would be a little clearer with the fourth line as "it's you I'm waiting for". but besides that, i love the metaphor.
[n/a] silvertongueddevil 13-Jul-02/8:03 PM Reply
i chose to take out the word "for".
it was messing up the rhyme scheme.
[7] horus8 4-Aug-02/12:14 AM Reply
Sorry a nomad settled just grows rude
[7] horus8 4-Aug-02/12:14 AM Reply
Sorry a nomad settled just grows rude
[8] Spitfire07 4-Jun-05/6:16 PM Reply
I like it... I can relate to this.. a lot of people can