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i'm bad at waiting (Free verse) by silvertongueddevil
i'm bad at waiting - i can only wait for one thing at a time it's you i'm waiting, like a chick in an egg, junior feathers slicked, cramped in the dark, nose to knees and heels to buttocks, arms folded where they fit, my cheek pressed to the shell which is the days between us slowly thinning, opaque to the last moment, when i see you in the distance.

Up the ladder: Char

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.6350493
Overall Rank: 2175
Posted: May 11, 2002 3:18 AM PDT; Last modified: May 11, 2002 3:18 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] hoopoe @ 62.254.32.4 | 21-May-02/4:00 PM | Reply
Brilliant!

I LOVE it!!
sopoignantfunnylisteningcute
[8] deleted user @ 206.180.235.13 | 24-Jun-02/2:30 AM | Reply
it would be a little clearer with the fourth line as "it's you I'm waiting for". but besides that, i love the metaphor.
[n/a] silvertongueddevil @ | 13-Jul-02/8:03 PM | Reply
i chose to take out the word "for".
it was messing up the rhyme scheme.
[7]... horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Aug-02/12:14 AM | Reply
Sorry a nomad settled just grows rude
[7]... horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Aug-02/12:14 AM | Reply
Sorry a nomad settled just grows rude
[8] Spitfire07 @ 172.132.8.25 | 4-Jun-05/6:16 PM | Reply
I like it... I can relate to this.. a lot of people can
158 view(s)




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