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Petrarchan Sonnet about Love (Sonnet) by emilyowey Love is a mockery of all that's right,
Because my world does not know how to feel
Or genuinely care for what is real.
We give ourselves away for just one night.
So when the truth is brought to light,
All know that it will take a while to heal,
And that such love is far form the ideal.
Yet for real love we seem to've lost the fight.
Can we let feeling take what we hold dear,
And replace it with guilt beyond belief?
This cannot be the plan ordained for me.
So now I'll chose to live without the fear,
And let myself be bathed in sweet relief,
For love and I simply do not agree.
Up the ladder:
i'm bad at waiting
Down the ladder:
Deep Inner Pain
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Posted: July 17, 2002 6:52 PM PDT; Last modified: July 17, 2002 6:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.6350493 Overall Rank: 2176 Comments:
[8]
-=SeTTle=- @ 63.214.98.27
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30-Jul-02/8:08 PM
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Reply
Yeah. And there's absolutely nothing sexy about douching either (aside from the uncontrollable sobbing). Decent poem.
i see...
Happy you!
I like this - it's good to see old forms being used, and the meditation on love is also a very fitting thing for a sonnet. The 'to've' I don't like - shoe-horning it in to keep the metre - but apart from that this is really good.
This isn't bad it does have a few things holding it back. you can get rid of the Ands altogether. Then you can expand the to've into to have. I enjoy the lines --we give ourselves away...---For love and I ... Personally I've never tried coing that whole abbaabb..thing so you get points for accomplishing that. I still think it could be better. 6
A Concrete poem is a conglomeration of words (sometimes one word repeated over and over) whose overall shape is a key to the concept it presents. There are no truly agreed-upon conventions, but a natural elegance of arrangement is often striven for.
Sometimes the poem can be read in multiple directions from different starting points, depending on the shape of the form and the curiousity of the reader.
Sometimes there is peace in giving up on love, and though rare, even happiness. Small technical quibble about the shortage of syllables in the 5th line, but a very beautiful poem making very good contemporary use of a venerable form. Incidentally, I cannot imagine who could in good conscience give this effort a "0".
How can a sincere poem rhyme real with feel and night with light?
And you don't have to imagine who gave it a -0- because it says under view voting details. By the way hipster flare is rather good 244 view(s)
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