Re: Somehow, Hope by DeadtotheWorld	27-Apr-05/1:09 AM
I kind of get where you're coming from...but to make it more accessible (without, I think, losing your mysteriousness)...omit the capitalized "Sweet" and "Endeavor" and maybe replace with more concrete sentiment...i.e. colors/places/smells that are real to you...will make your excellent last two lines more meaningful. So close.
Re: Untitled by nothingtoanyone	27-Apr-05/1:05 AM
Love "darkened yellow". Wished you could stray from "cry" and "high" rhyme scheme, but still was pulled in by beautiful line geometry anyhoo....8.3
Re: I do... Not! by Billy Fights	27-Apr-05/1:02 AM
Great song lyrics. Do you play an instrument? 9
Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT	16-Apr-05/11:09 PM
I think the first phrase should have a question mark, and I also want to hear real colors of the "brightly colored fish" at the end (i.e. fuschia? chartreuse?) but wholly I'm lovin' this. 9.4
Re: Kansas City by PodPoet	11-Apr-05/11:48 PM
I wanted more...another 5 lines, please. 9
Re: a comment on Camping, Volume 3 by jessicazee	23-Mar-05/12:12 AM
zodiac- thanks. I've admired your work here, so your compliment means lots. *warm feeling though cold, slipperless feet*
Re: a comment on Camping, Volume 3 by jessicazee	23-Mar-05/12:10 AM
Good ideas. I'll try them.
Re: Reasonably Good by Dovina	23-Mar-05/12:05 AM
Get rid of the spaces between stanzas--what is space anyway but the thing that separates us? I'm drunk, I like this, 9.3.
Re: Tribulations of the ear and eye by oneglove	22-Mar-05/11:13 PM
Dude, this is a good story. And I hardly ever call anyone dude. A suggestion: keep the format, but punctuate everything if you are going to use quotes. Make it more like a dialogue in a story, with periods and commas. It will be easier to understand. 8.7.
Re: The conflict begin by luzrheroguy	22-Mar-05/11:09 PM
Third stanza is rocking me...First one, line 4 almost stopped me from going on...try to keep the contractions to a minimum. Also, the title's grammatical problem needs to be addressed. Nonetheless, I still like it. 7.5.
Re: Cold Turkey by johnnyfontaine23	22-Mar-05/11:06 PM
Make this a prose poem and it will rock, after you add a few more lines. Potential.
Re: The Game of Categories by jessicazee	22-Mar-05/11:04 PM
This poem sucks ass, I wrote it and had no edits, sorry you even read far enough to see this comment. I am ashamed. D'oh.
Re: The Privaleged by i_am_the_popsicle	6-Mar-05/11:06 PM
spelling problems: priveleged luxury coerced 7.9 regardless
Re: a comment on You Fell Asleep First by jessicazee	6-Mar-05/10:58 PM
thanks for the ups. I have a new version, the title for now is 'you fell asleep first'...wanted to make it a new one but this site says I have to wait 2_hours_...I might be in my attic drinking whiskey by then...
Re: Amphetamine Witches & Scrabble by Bachus	3-Mar-05/1:06 AM
Scrap the first stanza, albeit with my fair regards- the rest I be liking. 8.9
Re: a comment on Never... by jessicazee	19-Feb-05/1:05 AM
thanks for the comments...probably silly because I wrote it on my birthday after I sprained my ankle, which I don't really remember..I need to edit...
Re: a comment on Lent Begins by jessicazee	14-Feb-05/5:24 PM
Here's what I hope is the final edit. Thanks for your kind words. And now, I open a beer, another Monday evening.
Re: My Time In Jail by Brittanyy	3-Feb-05/11:42 PM
Love the line about your shoes.
Re: Girly by Dovina	3-Feb-05/11:40 PM
I didn't want to like this, but I did anyway. Delete the last 2 lines.
Re: a comment on Camping by jessicazee	19-Dec-04/11:31 PM
Thanks. I got a little trigger-happy the last few days with this one. I appreciate your comment.