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Tribulations of the ear and eye (Free verse) by oneglove
âWhoa is meâ cried the ear
âMy whole life is pain
Only hateful words and dreadful news
I will never see the vibrant colors of the fall
Or gaze upon a loverâs smileâ
âHear my lamentâ moaned the eye
âMy whole life is tragedy
Filled with violent scenes and terrible acts
I will never listen to a soft melody
Or hear those three small wordsâ
The ear to the body
âI feel no allegiance
Your harsh world has stunted and oppressedâ
And with that he left
Said the eye to the body
âI have no loyalty to you
You who restricts my life and hinders my potential
I will be better on my ownâ
Both ear and eye
Soon turned cold
Without warmth of body
A similar fate for both
Atrophied from the world outside
Blind and deaf
The body survived
Itâs most important organ still intact
A heart still beating
Still able to fulfill itâs greatest gift
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.571429
Weighted score: 5.6915636
Overall Rank: 1974
Posted: March 22, 2005 11:37 AM PST; Last modified: March 22, 2005 11:37 AM PST
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Comments:
202 view(s)
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Here's why you got an 8 instead of a 10...you, are obviously a poet, and a decent one at that; yet, at least in this piece, your eyes and ears are not poets - the propositions within the quotes are the bulk of the foundation, yet, the things that break your rhythm as we read it...my only suggestion, if you were looking for any, would be to play with the things you have the eyes and ears saying to see if you can smooth them in with the rest of the vervish beat.
peace,
sean