| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
My secret to life (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta We say that life is difficult,
impossible to live !
If we just pause and view our hearts
there's nothing we can give.
We see the many broken homes
and children in the streets
with our own eyes we see the blind
we see each others' grief.
Sorrow fills our very lives
With hardships, guilt and chains,
Each one struggling to survive
on his own strength his pain.
It is not very easy
to bye-pass the things we see;
Yet we forcefully close the door
of our hearts with lock and key.
Many have come to show the way
that each of us should live
Yet, no where do we reach our goal
unless Jesus walks right in.
His life He lived by love alone
Love was His only strength.
By love he healed the deaf and dumb
And all with worldly strain.
His Love brought us our victory
death could not keep Him bound
with love He broke the chains that held
us prisoners all around.
He gave His crown of love's freedom
To start our lives afresh
To marvel in His radiance
Bring out in us our best.
So take a step to Jesus,
To the glorious one enthroned
And find your heart uplifted
To step out fresh in love.
Up the ladder:
Peace that Passes Understanding
Down the ladder:
The conflict begin
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.571429
Posted: June 22, 2006 7:12 AM PDT; Last modified: June 22, 2006 7:13 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.6915636 Overall Rank: 1978 Comments:
typo - by-pass
not bad, I like the occasional rhyme and the fact you wrote what followed on well as opposed to rhyme overdose.
I liked this alot. Especially the last half. Very inspirational. I'll probably be stuck at the DMV half the day today but I get 4 days off from work (WaHoo!:) So maybe I can catch up on my poem reading here and get in some good debates again.
Thanks a ton Al. I'm actually surprised at the response from you guys. Much more than what I expected it to rate. Now lets look out for what Ranger has to say and then I'll be satisfied.
I don't know that I'll be able to come up with anything particularly useful at the moment. Am doing 54-hour weeks currently up to my elbows in butter, cheese, milk and yoghurts at my friendly local supermarket so I'm pretty exhausted and not really thinking straight. The intention was that I'd have some time for writing this summer, but that's yet to materialise.
I like the poem; in my opinion the rhyme scheme works nicely except for the last stanza (although the Queen's birthday celebrations are on the TV in the background; quite a distraction when trying to read poetry...) and as a devotional poem it's very good. But as I'm sure you're aware, due to the very nature of the poem, it'll get a mixed reaction. Those who agree with your beliefs will love it, those who disagree probably won't. Umm...that's all I can think of right now. Maybe tomorrow morning will be a better time. P.S. - One-nil to the Eng-er-land!
Ranger, thank you for your vote of confidence. That's all that matters. whether it evokes mixed reactions from the readers is not important. I'm happy I got your response.
no greater love has a person than to give his life for another. in life the only thing we truly have is our life, to give it for another living 2000 yrs later makes me wonder about his sanity........
It's a wonder that you care about his sanity.
oh bye the way i liked it
Thank you very much all the same. Appreciate the vote and comment.
i will refrain from voting due to the subject itself, one that i am 1) ot qualified to discuss due to a lack of knowledge and, 2) because i am still skeptical of the "story" of jesus.
somehow this seems like it would be written in one of those inspirational cards i always manage to stumble upon when card shopping for birthday/holiday occasions. i guess they just come off a little forced to me, or maybe i am just too cynical to get the "inspiration". the meter is consistent, but the message seems a little over-repetitive (but not too much so). i don't think it matters if there is a rhyme scheme. however, if you rhyme one verse and then switch back to non-rhyming and then rhyme again, it is a little distracting. i found myself trying to think of alternate words/phrases instead of just reading... i would suggest a strong rhyme pattern or none at all, especially with a strong tempo. 271 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dear Jebus,
Do you like me?
YES []
NO []
MAYBE []
Thanks.
Heart,
Nick
Where have you been and how are you? :-)