DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

My secret to life

Member since 2005 · Posted 22 Jun 2006 · Edited 22 Jun 2006 · 14 comments

We say that life is difficult, impossible to live ! If we just pause and view our hearts there's nothing we can give. We see the many broken homes and children in the streets with our own eyes we see the blind we see each others' grief. Sorrow fills our very lives With hardships, guilt and chains, Each one struggling to survive on his own strength his pain. It is not very easy to bye-pass the things we see; Yet we forcefully close the door of our hearts with lock and key. Many have come to show the way that each of us should live Yet, no where do we reach our goal unless Jesus walks right in. His life He lived by love alone Love was His only strength. By love he healed the deaf and dumb And all with worldly strain. His Love brought us our victory death could not keep Him bound with love He broke the chains that held us prisoners all around. He gave His crown of love's freedom To start our lives afresh To marvel in His radiance Bring out in us our best. So take a step to Jesus, To the glorious one enthroned And find your heart uplifted To step out fresh in love.

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mean 7.57 weighted 5.69 rank 1982 views 271 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

14 comments

[10] drnick 22-Jun-06/10:34 PM Reply

Who is this Jesus fellow??? He sounds facinating/fictional. Will you pass this note to him for me?

Dear Jebus,

Do you like me?

YES []
NO []
MAYBE []

Thanks.

Heart,
Nick

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › drnick 22-Jun-06/10:44 PM Reply

Wow Nick... Thanks and good to see you back. I've asked Jesus whether he likes you.... and he says.... as always!

Where have you been and how are you? :-)

[10] drnick › amanda_dcosta 23-Jun-06/12:24 PM Reply

Well, I've taking summer classes so that I can graduate in the winter, working the weekends, doing drugs, and just having a good ol time. I haven't been on here as much as I'd like, but hopefully I can fin dmore time for that now. What have you been up to?

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › drnick 24-Jun-06/5:31 AM Reply

Great to hear from you. As for me...its same ol'life... trying to enliven poemranker with a piece or two to keep it going.

[7] Caducus 23-Jun-06/1:37 AM Reply

typo - by-pass

not bad, I like the occasional rhyme and the fact you wrote what followed on well as opposed to rhyme overdose.

[10] ALChemy 23-Jun-06/6:20 AM Reply

I liked this alot. Especially the last half. Very inspirational. I'll probably be stuck at the DMV half the day today but I get 4 days off from work (WaHoo!:) So maybe I can catch up on my poem reading here and get in some good debates again.

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › ALChemy 23-Jun-06/8:57 AM Reply

Thanks a ton Al. I'm actually surprised at the response from you guys. Much more than what I expected it to rate. Now lets look out for what Ranger has to say and then I'll be satisfied.

[9] Ranger › amanda_dcosta 25-Jun-06/11:40 AM Reply

I don't know that I'll be able to come up with anything particularly useful at the moment. Am doing 54-hour weeks currently up to my elbows in butter, cheese, milk and yoghurts at my friendly local supermarket so I'm pretty exhausted and not really thinking straight. The intention was that I'd have some time for writing this summer, but that's yet to materialise.
I like the poem; in my opinion the rhyme scheme works nicely except for the last stanza (although the Queen's birthday celebrations are on the TV in the background; quite a distraction when trying to read poetry...) and as a devotional poem it's very good. But as I'm sure you're aware, due to the very nature of the poem, it'll get a mixed reaction. Those who agree with your beliefs will love it, those who disagree probably won't.
Umm...that's all I can think of right now. Maybe tomorrow morning will be a better time.
P.S. - One-nil to the Eng-er-land!

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › Ranger 26-Jun-06/12:18 AM Reply

Ranger, thank you for your vote of confidence. That's all that matters. whether it evokes mixed reactions from the readers is not important. I'm happy I got your response.

[10] crazyknight 23-Jun-06/11:12 AM Reply

no greater love has a person than to give his life for another. in life the only thing we truly have is our life, to give it for another living 2000 yrs later makes me wonder about his sanity........

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › crazyknight 23-Jun-06/11:14 AM Reply

It's a wonder that you care about his sanity.

[10] crazyknight 23-Jun-06/11:14 AM Reply

oh bye the way i liked it

[n/a] amanda_dcosta › crazyknight 23-Jun-06/11:16 AM Reply

Thank you very much all the same. Appreciate the vote and comment.

[7] lmp 23-Jun-06/12:24 PM Reply

i will refrain from voting due to the subject itself, one that i am 1) ot qualified to discuss due to a lack of knowledge and, 2) because i am still skeptical of the "story" of jesus.

somehow this seems like it would be written in one of those inspirational cards i always manage to stumble upon when card shopping for birthday/holiday occasions. i guess they just come off a little forced to me, or maybe i am just too cynical to get the "inspiration".

the meter is consistent, but the message seems a little over-repetitive (but not too much so).

i don't think it matters if there is a rhyme scheme. however, if you rhyme one verse and then switch back to non-rhyming and then rhyme again, it is a little distracting. i found myself trying to think of alternate words/phrases instead of just reading... i would suggest a strong rhyme pattern or none at all, especially with a strong tempo.