poemranker ::Girly by Dovina

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Free verse № 119628

Girly

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 3 Feb 2005 · Edited 8 Feb 2005 · 12 comments

Fingernails long clicking keys wrong until polish dries words can’t fly rubbing itchy eye mascara’s a dye hair flussed and curly but had to rise early sushi with chopsticks redo lipstick but I’m better off girly than poetess, surely this poem of mine won't seem to rhyme

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8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

12 comments

[7] jessicazee 3-Feb-05/11:40 PM Reply
I didn't want to like this, but I did anyway. Delete the last 2 lines.
[n/a] Dovina › jessicazee 4-Feb-05/7:44 AM Reply
Did you not want to like it because you've been there.

Oh, the last two lines are what it's about. :(
[10] zodiac 4-Feb-05/3:51 AM Reply
I have a feeling you think you're responding to someone on this site. Who?

Have you read "A Room of One's Own"?
[8] wilco 4-Feb-05/7:29 PM Reply
Not your best, but since I know why you wrote it, it kind of makes me laugh.
[10] zodiac › wilco 6-Feb-05/2:23 AM Reply
Why did she write it?
[10] zodiac 5-Feb-05/1:01 AM Reply
As anybody who's read "A Room of One's Own" knows (and that's probably nearly everyone who knows anything), "poetess" and "girly" have never been considered opposing options for women. In fact, poetry is historically the domain of good domestic girls, being usually somewhat shallower and more maudlin than other literary forms, and also easier to write during soapopera commercials. That you don't already know this is yet another stain on your much besmirch'd reputation.

I predict you'll say something about how this poem is not about girls and poetesses, but rather about something unrelated and at present unimaginable.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 5-Feb-05/8:15 AM Reply
I predict I’ll say something about how irrelevant it is of you to say that because you’ve heard that "poetess" and "girly" are not opposing that makes this merely a girly poem. It’s the kind of thing you can be counted on to say. What I predict I’ll say is not at all unimaginable.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 5-Feb-05/11:47 PM Reply
Once again, you've used the word 'merely' where I meant nothing of the sort. Even if you mean it as a joke (by now) stop.

And get a fucking clue. I haven't just "heard that 'poetess' and 'girly' are not opposing", I've heard it from Virginia Woolf and a great many of the most respected feminist scholars in America. To use a metaphor you're bound to love, you're doing something like approaching Hank Aaron and saying "that's not a home run, a home run is when you stand naked on second base and trump into the upper bleachers" and then when he asks you why, trumping into his scared darkie face.
[9] Shuushin 5-Feb-05/5:10 AM Reply
kindof ogden nashy as the end there (not a bad thing).
[10] Dan garcia-Black 6-Feb-05/9:57 AM Reply
I really like this poem. It is very light-hearted with much sarcasm. I believe the last four lines would be better re-arranged as follows:

"but I’m better off girly
than a poetess, surely
this poem of mine
doesn't seem to rhyme"
It puts the heavy-handed "girly conclusion" inside the poem and makes the end a "typically girly" comment(in the sacastic sense in which you write about the subject of girliness).
[n/a] Dovina › Dan garcia-Black 6-Feb-05/8:50 PM Reply
Jessicazee is with me part way; Wilco is part way there; Shuushin’s Ogden Nash comparison is not a bad thing; Zodiac is befuddled as usual; but by Job, you’ve got it. At least what you say is lighthearted and heavy-handed is what I meant. I suppose it’s ok for people to get what they see in a poem, but it’s gratifying when somebody sees it the way I do.

I see your point about the last four lines.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 7-Feb-05/12:34 AM Reply
"Zodiac is befuddled as usual"

You are right as usual. By which I mean: I am right as usual; you're wrong.

I'm waiting for your answer on the one-of-a-kind thing.

PS-Please don't change the last four lines. That's simply a terrible suggestion.