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Girly (Free verse) by Dovina Fingernails long
clicking keys wrong
until polish dries
words canât fly
rubbing itchy eye
mascaraâs a dye
hair flussed and curly
but had to rise early
sushi with chopsticks
redo lipstick
but Iâm better off girly
than poetess, surely
this poem of mine
won't seem to rhyme
Up the ladder:
The Pipe Scraping Tool
Down the ladder:
The bad news is his bones are like rubber
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.625
Posted: February 3, 2005 9:56 PM PST; Last modified: February 8, 2005 2:38 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.43703 Overall Rank: 3006 Comments:
I have a feeling you think you're responding to someone on this site. Who?
Have you read "A Room of One's Own"?
Not your best, but since I know why you wrote it, it kind of makes me laugh.
Why did she write it?
As anybody who's read "A Room of One's Own" knows (and that's probably nearly everyone who knows anything), "poetess" and "girly" have never been considered opposing options for women. In fact, poetry is historically the domain of good domestic girls, being usually somewhat shallower and more maudlin than other literary forms, and also easier to write during soapopera commercials. That you don't already know this is yet another stain on your much besmirch'd reputation.
I predict you'll say something about how this poem is not about girls and poetesses, but rather about something unrelated and at present unimaginable.
I predict Iâll say something about how irrelevant it is of you to say that because youâve heard that "poetess" and "girly" are not opposing that makes this merely a girly poem. Itâs the kind of thing you can be counted on to say. What I predict Iâll say is not at all unimaginable.
Once again, you've used the word 'merely' where I meant nothing of the sort. Even if you mean it as a joke (by now) stop.
And get a fucking clue. I haven't just "heard that 'poetess' and 'girly' are not opposing", I've heard it from Virginia Woolf and a great many of the most respected feminist scholars in America. To use a metaphor you're bound to love, you're doing something like approaching Hank Aaron and saying "that's not a home run, a home run is when you stand naked on second base and trump into the upper bleachers" and then when he asks you why, trumping into his scared darkie face.
kindof ogden nashy as the end there (not a bad thing).
I really like this poem. It is very light-hearted with much sarcasm. I believe the last four lines would be better re-arranged as follows:
"but Iâm better off girly than a poetess, surely this poem of mine doesn't seem to rhyme" It puts the heavy-handed "girly conclusion" inside the poem and makes the end a "typically girly" comment(in the sacastic sense in which you write about the subject of girliness).
Jessicazee is with me part way; Wilco is part way there; Shuushinâs Ogden Nash comparison is not a bad thing; Zodiac is befuddled as usual; but by Job, youâve got it. At least what you say is lighthearted and heavy-handed is what I meant. I suppose itâs ok for people to get what they see in a poem, but itâs gratifying when somebody sees it the way I do.
I see your point about the last four lines.
"Zodiac is befuddled as usual"
You are right as usual. By which I mean: I am right as usual; you're wrong. I'm waiting for your answer on the one-of-a-kind thing. PS-Please don't change the last four lines. That's simply a terrible suggestion. 829 view(s)
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Oh, the last two lines are what it's about. :(