replying on Poem from a gurney by INTRANSIT
20 Nov 2006, 4:23 PM
Thanks Shuushin. Talk to me more about flow please.
on Bagni di Lucca by Sasha
8 Nov 2006, 6:12 AM
Ranger, Howl? Why the eights?
on 311006 txt to russia by daniella
3 Nov 2006, 6:42 AM
Just -Text to russia- would work. I'd go with less nature oriented scheme.
New end: You unfold me in the morning. This could see a ten easy.
New end: You unfold me in the morning. This could see a ten easy.
on Poem for Mahmuth by Dental Panic
3 Nov 2006, 6:36 AM
Shit. I liked the sadder wiser beers. Fuck. Has everyone out-read me here, too? Love the sounds. If it matters 10.
on The Hunter, the Hunted, and the Bystander by Dovina
3 Nov 2006, 6:31 AM
I'd like to know what this assholes problem is. (the driver of the car) And it's too wordy for my tastes. This one could do away with the formal stanzas.
Say, what other poetry sites are y'all using these days?
What is working for who and why.
Say, what other poetry sites are y'all using these days?
What is working for who and why.
on Wind By Any Other Name by Edna Sweetlove
12 Oct 2006, 7:34 AM
Still at it I see.
on The Mandarin by Caducus
12 Oct 2006, 7:24 AM
Line one delete- to me and insert 2 dashes
same for line four (I wrote her) can go for two dashes.
Drop (noticing), drop laid,drop yet,drop and.
There's still something missing from the parts dealing with your father. Can't pinpoint it yet. Good to see you still plugging away. Fuckin' rough aint it?
same for line four (I wrote her) can go for two dashes.
Drop (noticing), drop laid,drop yet,drop and.
There's still something missing from the parts dealing with your father. Can't pinpoint it yet. Good to see you still plugging away. Fuckin' rough aint it?
replying on Poem from a gurney by INTRANSIT
10 Oct 2006, 12:54 PM
I was gonna go -jesus juice. what a nightmare that would have been. guilt trip? hmmm. have to thunk on that.lose some the(s), sure. Phlebotomist, technically. Thank you.
on weather poem part 3: the hurricane (renga) by nypoet22
10 Oct 2006, 7:42 AM
Was this a group effort or a solo project?
on Innocence revisited by Caducus
10 Oct 2006, 7:39 AM
The only problem I have is (spastic).
on A Scientistâs Prayer by Dovina
10 Oct 2006, 7:35 AM
Would you like my 02?
on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger
15 May 2006, 12:02 PM
is cukoo there for a reason or just to signify craziness. I think it may better the poem to research birds and find something that emphasizes what you are trying to say. I'm barely learning how to be specific myself so, use salt. 28
on Another quarter. by richa
17 Apr 2006, 6:12 AM
rides (comma) sticks? and cuts/clips? thst's it for my nits.
on Inbetween Lovers/Blueprint by Ranger
7 Apr 2006, 12:41 PM
Salute!
on Morning City by Jack Diamond
7 Apr 2006, 11:18 AM
panaderia is better. but while you're getting nutty about laid, why not leid.
on Morning City by Jack Diamond
7 Apr 2006, 10:27 AM
spitfire Mexican hellcat polka- Right on. Lays/Lies, let it slide. beaterrific
on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina
3 Apr 2006, 2:30 PM
the first -within- could be replaced with a semi-colon, I think. I'm no puncuation master. The last line, remove -almost-. It will speak louder and step better. Yeah, -corn, a few. Baaaad girl.
something about the distant mountain folds- makes no sense to me. I'm assuming the pomegranate berries are your period/ovulation.
Why do you run and what exactly are you running from might flesh (no pun intended) this out .