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Innocence revisited (Free verse) by Caducus Two spines laid on countless spines.
Soil was brunette
A body yard from virginal
And my seed was unspent
Until her declaration soddened her thigh
And I cried on a shared sternum
Where countless I love youâs
Were wasted on from desire.
It was Autumn I felt sorry for,
And when I feel like falling â I return,
To the spastic oak ravaged since by lightning
That split our names into splinters.
It is Autumn that took my innocence
And not the brunette of spring.
Up the ladder:
Boundaries
Down the ladder:
Closed Doors
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.1666665
Posted: October 4, 2006 11:51 AM PDT; Last modified: October 4, 2006 11:51 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0448236 Overall Rank: 6996 Comments:
I read virginal as "vaginal", go figure.
I read "wasted on from desire" as "wasted on desire." Go figure. And try "virginal body yard." Hey, it beats "vaginal."
The only problem I have is (spastic).
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very interesting, though. I really like the second stanza, and just want the first to cohere a little more for me.