poemranker ::Innocence revisited by Caducus

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Free verse № 147033

Innocence revisited

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Oct 2006 · 4 comments

Two spines laid on countless spines. Soil was brunette A body yard from virginal And my seed was unspent Until her declaration soddened her thigh And I cried on a shared sternum Where countless I love you’s Were wasted on from desire. It was Autumn I felt sorry for, And when I feel like falling – I return, To the spastic oak ravaged since by lightning That split our names into splinters. It is Autumn that took my innocence And not the brunette of spring.

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4 comments

[7] nentwined 4-Oct-06/5:42 PM Reply
"A body yard from virginal" makes me think there has to either be a typo somewhere, or a missing word--I get some gist of it from context, but well, lots of different some gists.

very interesting, though. I really like the second stanza, and just want the first to cohere a little more for me.
[8] Shuushin 4-Oct-06/6:54 PM Reply
I read virginal as "vaginal", go figure.
[8] Dovina 5-Oct-06/7:36 AM Reply
I read "wasted on from desire" as "wasted on desire." Go figure. And try "virginal body yard." Hey, it beats "vaginal."
[8] INTRANSIT 10-Oct-06/7:39 AM Reply
The only problem I have is (spastic).