| Re: a comment on Explorations Underground by ecargo |
3-Apr-06/2:24 PM |
|
The cadence is what reminded me, I guess.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: Explorations Underground by ecargo |
3-Apr-06/2:19 PM |
|
Woad? Yes! It's twoo! It's twoo! If you changed the color and the setting,(not that you would, and barrow to borough, You get another poem. I love the saluki lean. remember Christof?
|
|
|
|
| Re: Buddy by ALChemy |
23-Mar-06/1:37 PM |
|
Forgive your master. he's had a severe case of hammertoe and is busy cutting snowflakes at the moment.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Right Call by Dovina |
22-Mar-06/9:16 AM |
|
Oh the way kids play adults against one another. Sickos.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Sea Words by ecargo |
22-Mar-06/9:13 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Perils of the Learning Curve by Dovina |
19-Mar-06/5:20 PM |
|
Credentials? Doctors have credentials?
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT |
19-Mar-06/5:16 PM |
|
I cut a few more ifs ands and buts out. closed the tercets and shifted the vibrato line around. Why tercets? Because I'm still grappling with the best use of line breaks thing. Now , where did I put my fender skirt.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Louwanda by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
19-Mar-06/5:04 PM |
|
Sister of Towanda and Nuwanda, I'm sure.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Perils of the Learning Curve by Dovina |
19-Mar-06/5:02 PM |
Uncharmed- is the best you can do at the end? Bah! 9.5
rounding down. If you have to rewrite the whole line, fix it.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT |
16-Mar-06/11:27 AM |
Sorry ladies, the floor adores (like the rest of the house) the presence of its owner. And don't the groan/adore/floor almost sound like groans? And don't they make noises even if they're carpeted? Or does everyone own a high tech no-squeak flooring system. bleh. I'll take a house with character any day.
Thanks for the help. Is it better?
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT |
14-Mar-06/6:54 AM |
Thanks guys! Right now the critiqing is better here than over at scrawl. Too bad really. I was all set to "get serious". Ha!
Nothing over there that I cant get here. And Have FUN doing it too!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Spoken word (draft) by Adriaan |
13-Mar-06/7:34 PM |
|
Keep going. until you run out of logic or it turns benign or rediculous. like my spelling. gah. really. finish this.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT |
13-Mar-06/6:46 PM |
I'm assuming the translation of this is:
You are an inanimate object that cannot write poetry.
Though, it could be a compliment suggesting I am a fixture of poemranker.
OR It could be a suggestion on how to improve the poem.
I don't suppose you might care to clue me in, would you?
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina |
13-Mar-06/3:05 PM |
I've got no college or formal training in these things and it makes me think I'm missing out on something really important. Then comes a small woman in a bonnet with a gentle smile, and all is right again.
Poems (topics) waiting to be written by me:
Amish
Buffalo
Wind generators
|
|
|
|
| Re: Climbing the Wall by ecargo |
13-Mar-06/2:59 PM |
|
Fantastic beat. I thought you started out talking about trying to walk across a romp-a-room full of kids and their toys. HA! I just got back from Madison, where I read Bookends and Trapped in a horseshoe aloud to a crowd of....7? It seemed to go well.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Settling in by INTRANSIT |
13-Mar-06/2:55 PM |
|
No , this is a "real" house. the onomatos were the inspiration. I love playing with sound.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Devil's Carnival by Ranger |
13-Mar-06/2:51 PM |
|
If there's anything wrong here, I can't find it. I saw a girl being tortured by others on an amusement ride or she was forced to ride and she didn't want to. Now I'm going to read the remarks and see how I did.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina |
13-Mar-06/2:48 PM |
In the amount of time it has taken me to read this funny , though useless, thread, an amish community has raised a barn. And. The youngsters built a 1/8 scale exact replica of the statue of liberty, then knocked it over, set it ablaze and had a
"cookout".
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Crowded by INTRANSIT |
13-Mar-06/2:31 PM |
|
you know Matt, the first thought did start every line with "Nineteen gauges". I knew I could do better. And I can do better than this too, eventually. thanks for the fence-vote.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Call me Floyed by FreeFormFixation |
13-Mar-06/2:28 PM |
|
|
|
