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The Right Call (Free verse) by Dovina
She stood rocking on her feet, hugging herself— the sad look of someone caged, caught in childlike regression. Savage uncertainty. The horrible possibility. The possibly wrong call. Even the right choice could be the wrong call. Harsh paternalism advises: take responsibility, stop being squeamish, ignore seeming randomness. And there she stands, the ultimate arbiter.

Up the ladder: Ending

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.428571
Weighted score: 5.6531434
Overall Rank: 2108
Posted: March 21, 2006 6:46 PM PST; Last modified: March 21, 2006 6:46 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 21-Mar-06/7:44 PM | Reply
mmmm...okay.
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 22-Mar-06/2:51 AM | Reply
Made me think of the 'Genie' case - am I on the right lines?
[n/a] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 > Ranger | 22-Mar-06/10:17 AM | Reply
You always make more of me than I am. Thanks.
[9] Caducus @ 80.168.238.75 | 22-Mar-06/8:10 AM | Reply
you always find an apt and fittin gend to your work and i like that style about you.

I think the repetition of *the* hurts the poem though
[n/a] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 > Caducus | 22-Mar-06/10:19 AM | Reply
I agree that "the" in the first verse can take a hike. The rest of the the's, however, seem needed in order to be specific.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.6 | 22-Mar-06/9:16 AM | Reply
Oh the way kids play adults against one another. Sickos.
[n/a] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 > INTRANSIT | 22-Mar-06/10:22 AM | Reply
I always have to read your comments about four times. Even then, it's often a guess. While I see the possibility of this being about a mother being tricked by her kids, I had no such thing in mind. But I rather like being multilingual unknowingly.
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 | 22-Mar-06/9:34 AM | Reply
Are you a mommy?
I think you'd make a cool mom.
[n/a] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 > ALChemy | 22-Mar-06/10:23 AM | Reply
I think I'd be a cool mom, too. But I'm not one. I'd probably need my kid's guidance and supervision
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 > Dovina | 22-Mar-06/5:58 PM | Reply
That's why you would be.
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