poemranker ::Another quarter. by richa

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Free verse № 142344

Another quarter.

Member since 2002 · Posted 16 Apr 2006 · Edited 17 Apr 2006 · 6 comments

This scalding season of frost and wind pressed to earth’s face. The polyanthus that I thought were dead bloom yellow and red and purple and white. The lawn loses its scent like a left out pie. The rev and splutter of blades as my little petrol mower rides sticks and cuts the grass like a cigar. I sniff the burn and perfumes. The lopped stems garnish. The worms come out to listen, the birds to eat.

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6 comments

[7] MacFrantic 16-Apr-06/10:56 AM Reply
Th last two lines are great. "I sniff" and "frozen pie" seemed a little off to me. *7*
[9] Ranger 17-Apr-06/1:41 AM Reply
Good work, like MacFrantic I don't think that 'frozen pie' really works for this; for one thing, 'frozen' so soon after 'frost' makes it seem like you were struggling for variation (not something which can be said often about your poetry). The rest is beautiful.
[9] INTRANSIT 17-Apr-06/6:12 AM Reply
rides (comma) sticks? and cuts/clips? thst's it for my nits.
[9] Dovina › INTRANSIT 17-Apr-06/7:31 AM Reply
Maybe it rides over the sticks.
[9] Dovina 17-Apr-06/7:30 AM Reply
Some good connections: scalding frost, cuts like a cigar. scend gone like a left-out pie. Spring sprung. Good.
[9] ecargo 17-Apr-06/7:49 AM Reply
Other than "scalding" and the pie, ace in my book. Simple in all the best of ways.