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Another quarter. (Free verse) by richa
This scalding season of frost and wind pressed to earth’s face. The polyanthus that I thought were dead bloom yellow and red and purple and white. The lawn loses its scent like a left out pie. The rev and splutter of blades as my little petrol mower rides sticks and cuts the grass like a cigar. I sniff the burn and perfumes. The lopped stems garnish. The worms come out to listen, the birds to eat.

Up the ladder: Beetles
Down the ladder: What? (Wot?)

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Arithmetic Mean: 9.2
Weighted score: 5.5006523
Overall Rank: 2676
Posted: April 16, 2006 9:52 AM PDT; Last modified: April 17, 2006 2:40 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] MacFrantic @ 172.193.196.195 | 16-Apr-06/10:56 AM | Reply
Th last two lines are great. "I sniff" and "frozen pie" seemed a little off to me. *7*
[9] Ranger @ 86.131.54.123 | 17-Apr-06/1:41 AM | Reply
Good work, like MacFrantic I don't think that 'frozen pie' really works for this; for one thing, 'frozen' so soon after 'frost' makes it seem like you were struggling for variation (not something which can be said often about your poetry). The rest is beautiful.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.6 | 17-Apr-06/6:12 AM | Reply
rides (comma) sticks? and cuts/clips? thst's it for my nits.
[9] Dovina @ 12.72.36.175 > INTRANSIT | 17-Apr-06/7:31 AM | Reply
Maybe it rides over the sticks.
[9] Dovina @ 12.72.36.175 | 17-Apr-06/7:30 AM | Reply
Some good connections: scalding frost, cuts like a cigar. scend gone like a left-out pie. Spring sprung. Good.
[9] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 | 17-Apr-06/7:49 AM | Reply
Other than "scalding" and the pie, ace in my book. Simple in all the best of ways.
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