| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Foray (Free verse) by richa There is not so much left on this earth
there is long before the moon turns cold
come one last foray into the forest
the path is marked by bluebells. Go
and traipse the grass with open sandals
and see your brown hair an earthy tone
we must forge forward my little lady
now that it is quicker than to return.
I can see a clearing in the far distance
and though you probably canât see it yet
the bluebells will lead you like a mentor
the forest is not to dwell in past then.
Up the ladder:
the gods of rook and man
Down the ladder:
Vestigial Tail
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.2
Posted: May 17, 2006 3:08 AM PDT; Last modified: May 17, 2006 3:08 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.5006523 Overall Rank: 2680 Comments:
[9]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
|
17-May-06/10:46 AM
|
Reply
"Your brown hair an earthy tone" says a lot.
You do personal poems well. Should there not be their?
I always admire your meter and how you keep the narrative behind the poetry. Line 5 is my favourite as I love the exposure of nature combined with a Fathers caring eye.
How far can a man walk into a forest?
A mile less than a woman can.
Walking around aimlessly in circles doesn't count.
But writing math poems about waliking in circes does, as evidenced by making you at least to start trying counting. We shall overcome!
Spelling and grammar class is right across the hall. Hope to see you there.
Wow, I was late, and almost out the door, when an urge overtook me, not fully formed, and grossly malformed in hindsight. Sorry, no time for grammar class. Must grope grossly godward â Sunday, ya' know.
"The bluebells will lead you like a mentor" is a great simile--as is the poem. nice work.
225 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
