Re: Submission by Dovina	17-Nov-05/5:23 AM
Interesting for a poem to go as deep into cybernetics as Lisp programming. The arguement is well put, however the flow has been sacrificed for this (in comparison to your previous work). Also I find that the computing terms you use are not particularly colorful (being computing terms) especially in comparison to some of the more heart ridden moments; putting across a better argument; but a less welcoming poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Nov-05/9:13 AM
Starts with a view that hints of compassion (by putting yourself in the bombers shoes), and ends in darkness. Cleverly played, I cannot say I like the structure, form or flow; however the content/concept I believe to be excellently conceived, I hope this image was deliberate.
Re: Love letter by zodiac	18-Nov-05/3:57 AM
Tight.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Nov-05/4:01 AM
Ouch this is good. I have ignored this on random a few times due to its length; but after reading one of your shorter pieces, I thought there would be good reason to dive in. This is Epic and certainly beyond the ability of the bulk of online poets that I have come across.
Re: dit da haiku by nentwined	18-Nov-05/8:44 AM
I cant vote here for something that I just dont understand. This could be pure genius or feculent drivel, I have no idea. An explanation would get you at least another vote from me.
Re: soon i will travel by ay deee	19-Nov-05/4:04 PM
Had to rate this lowly, you've shot yourself in the foot, the fingers, the face and the butt with that last line.
Re: Math Poem 4 by Dovina	19-Nov-05/4:09 PM
I don't want to cause offence, but this does suck.
Re: Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina	19-Nov-05/4:14 PM
Excellent as this is, I still cant believe you tried to criticise me for writing something from LaLa land. The Salivating line and the concept of the piece are excellent, making for pleasurable, surreal, (though not bizarre) reading.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Nov-05/2:23 AM
Pleasant through and through. I disagree with the end, but thats just me. There is a lot of colourful language here, but there are some lines though that jar with me: "Different, yet the same," breaks from the flow and uses language that is very dull compared to the rest of the poem, "singing a song of gratitude" again breaks from a verse that has a lot of flow with no real reason to do that. The song that the birds sing is also poor in contrast to the rest of the piece (We are of the Earth...). Without these moments I would have rated this with a 9 or 10.
Re: leah by T. Jonathron Remp	20-Nov-05/2:26 AM
I am slightly confused here as to whether this is about retiring with someone or fire walking, or doing fire walking for someone... I cant believe somebody rated this a zero though. More clarity would have scored ayou a higher vote from me.
Re: Devictus by nocturnalism	22-Nov-05/7:56 AM
I like the melancholy here, the images of your head being bowed in shame, and the horror of the shade all add to the power and make for colourful language, however all words that you use are relatively simple, and so it reminds me of the Beefeaters at the Tower of London in the UK, who tell children stories of its dark and bloody past. The range and grab of the feelings here are extensive for a dark poem, which usually just try to get the reader to feel sorry for them; I think thats a good thing.
Re: Due Consideration by Dovina	22-Nov-05/8:09 AM
Absolutely full of actions to analyse and think about. Draws readers like me to think much deeper into your personality than most pieces that aim to state who you are. I think I might use this style later in order to try and shape a persons experience by the actions and pathways that you give them to analyse, rather than to present them with the analysis in a statement (may lead to a much richer form). Back to the poem though, I found a slightly unpleasant break in the flow at the stanza with the unborn word to be an absolute high point of the piece. If you had continued with the flow all the way, I may have thought that this was a delightful little piece and should score it an 8 for having a nice rhyme; however the break in the flow caused me to pause to think, and thus dive into the analysis and the ideas that this provokes. My only problem is that I dont quite understand the 2 lines about statring "To give".
Re: i dream in nine minute increments by ay deee	22-Nov-05/8:37 AM
Imaginative title, piece kind of reminds me of Sin City
Re: Derrick Holmes by rahson_s	23-Nov-05/1:50 AM
Sin City. Captivates the feel of gangster talk from films, I thought there were places where the piece could benefit from more elaberate use of language e.g we Moved the bodies to the car outside seating two Italian >>> We packed the stiffs in the motor Outside seating two butch mafiosos -pardon the spelling-
Re: Lines by OneFingerAnswer	23-Nov-05/7:55 AM
Something that I think everyone thinks at some point, put very clearly, although the last line one would suppose should mean that your tongue was trying to trick you; except your tongue tripping over imples that somebody else had caught you.... perhaps a little more than meets the eye here, or someone looking to hard???
Re: A Modern Woman by Dovina	24-Nov-05/1:48 AM
Good Luck, theyre difficult to find, Ive been looking out for quite some time.
Re: O dear. by celticskatermatt1	24-Nov-05/1:54 AM
O Dear, not another one. When will these people realise.... I felt compelled to give this a low vote, firstly on the basis that it lulled me towards the position of wanting to vomit, but not enougth so as to stick two fingers down my throat. Secondly it uses the word love a hell of a lot, without saying anything about your feelings or this other person, and so feels somewhat less than loving and more like a manic fad; whether that is the intention or not.
Re: The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy	25-Nov-05/3:18 AM
In a different league to the rest.
Re: Colorbars by wilco	25-Nov-05/3:20 AM
Absolutely superb.
Re: Indian Song by ALChemy	28-Nov-05/5:30 AM
After reading the comments below, Ive been looking for all sorts of hidden patterns... but nothing so far, otherwise it seems kind of like good ole hoe-down.