Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Colorbars (Lyric) by wilco
She sits alone beneath the cross of Grace St. Luke’s and all the neon, rain drenched streets. She takes a picture in black and white, dreams of all the colors, smudged and running down her face. He came back down from Eastern Time, a pretty wife and everything that anyone could dream. The television flickers, casting shadows of all the grey that’s been wearing down his soul. And the colorbars scream It’s getting too late to fall asleep. She stumbles inside with the telephone line crying that the rain never stops. and the erstwhile smile that lit her face in a former life returns and calls his name. Huddled inside, ‘neath the ‘no smoking’ sign, strange and grinning out loud, wrings his hands. The cigarette burns as the sunlight paints daggers across his face and the moment fades. And the colorbars scream It’s getting too late to fall asleep One more murder on a Sixth Street serenade she dreams. He fashions a kiss from old scars and lullabies placing it on her silhouette, he cries. And back downstairs to the screen gone black as the colorbars scream that it’s finally time to sleep.

Up the ladder: Child of Troy
Down the ladder: The Influence of Anxiety

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 30
.. 20
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 7.375
Weighted score: 5.638736
Overall Rank: 2154
Posted: November 24, 2005 5:45 PM PST; Last modified: November 24, 2005 5:45 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[10] zodiac @ 81.10.122.113 | 25-Nov-05/1:26 AM | Reply
The best of your lyrics I've read. My only suggestions are drop 'serenade' and keep the last verse more naturalistic, like the others.
[n/a] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 > zodiac | 25-Nov-05/9:22 AM | Reply
The last verse works in there as a fade out in the song. It reads differently than the others because the music changes somewhat at the end. The serenade is actually supposed to be promenade...I don't know why I wrote serenade...guess I was getting tired or got distracted or something.
[10] cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105 | 25-Nov-05/3:20 AM | Reply
Absolutely superb.
[10] Niphredil @ 192.114.44.196 | 25-Nov-05/6:04 AM | Reply
Brilliant. *10*
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 25-Nov-05/10:21 AM | Reply
Cool. Like a screen play for Sin City.

Cyan9. I'm surprised you didn't point this out.
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 26-Nov-05/8:27 PM | Reply
"grey that’s been wearing down his soul" is good. No it's bad. Same for "kiss from old scars and lullabies."
[n/a] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 > Dovina | 26-Nov-05/8:28 PM | Reply
Well, you've confused me...is it good or is it bad? lol
[2] Sing4Jesus! @ 85.210.192.216 | 3-Sep-06/5:17 PM | Reply
Incomprehensible. God forgive you. 2/10 and be blessed
252 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001