regarding some deleted poem...	26-Sep-05/9:45 AM
Would have voted higher if the last lines here a little more brutal and flowing
Re: Looking Up by Verse2Verse	26-Sep-05/12:45 PM
Gentle, moody and contemplatative (a very nice combination) - there is sufficient thought within the first paragraphs to force me to ask where I can read more of your work (a rarity). I would say I lost the thread a bit in the middle verse though, but was so enchanted by the end of the second verse that I quickly glanced over that.
Re: Escapism by vulcan	26-Sep-05/12:46 PM
Too True
Re: Servant Girl or Princess? by TLRufener	26-Sep-05/12:47 PM
Gratuitously emetic
Re: she is... by Sapphire	27-Sep-05/1:45 AM
Cute, the word spice gathers a bit of interest here. It is short and simple and perhaps a bit too simple to stand on its own, inclusion as a verse within a larger piece may produce a more involving result.
Re: Pebbles by Verse2Verse	27-Sep-05/1:47 AM
Analogy is well used here, the second verse feels a bit long for my likings, some kind of break or use of a bit more varied language might have pulled me in a bit more in that verse, rather than just being compelled to glance it over.
Re: Disaster in Disguise by Miggy	27-Sep-05/1:55 AM
The clarity with which you recount emotional reasoning is very good here, ther are however lines like: Nor a faint sense of grime That break from the rhythm and flow of the piece without having any apparent purpose in being there (am I missing something? what is a faint sense of grime?). The other problem that I have is that there are several changes in the structure of the piece, that break the flow with a new structure each time you move from verse to verse. This can be quite effective when you want the reader to pause for thought or you want to provide a contrast, but here I think a more flowing structure would assist.
Re: Of the Lady on the Bridge by Verse2Verse	27-Sep-05/2:44 AM
Haunting once you become engaged the piece
Re: will you? by Sapphire	30-Sep-05/1:05 AM
nice poem, bit too much rhyming for my (personal) linking, but it was to the point and quickly got a very nice image across to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-05/1:20 AM
I felt sympathetic to you for having the worst rated poem, since you used nice words and descriptions, they perhaps took over from giving a clear image, but still nothing to warrent the rating I am going to give you after reading that last line, I mean its murder, butchery of an otherwise borderline piece, you fiend.
Re: Night on the Towne by Modulo	7-Nov-05/6:10 AM
Much better than your piece High? Coo. Uses plenty of lively language that reminds me of dodgy cocktail bars. I'm not sure about the exclamation mark and the capitalization of jazz nights at the end, bit too much exclamation for my likings, anyway good effort.
Re: Forgive Me by TLRufener	9-Nov-05/5:56 AM
Shows the humility and neediness of a prayer for assistance with simplicity and accuracy.
Re: The Hawk by Dovina	14-Nov-05/5:39 AM
Great imagery in the 3rd stanza, otherwise, I found it difficult to follow, breaking from rhyme quite often without needing to.
Re: Headlines by Dovina	14-Nov-05/5:44 AM
Nice Concept
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Nov-05/5:47 AM
Autumnal and inviting, would of given it a 10 apart from the use of the word cunning at the beggining (if appeared as if you were trying to be clever (whether you were or not))
Re: There is a journey tree by ALChemy	17-Nov-05/5:10 AM
Much as we have been arguing on my work, I thought it reasonable to have a look at some of yours and put a few damming comments down there; however, I am pleasantly surprised by the flow and imagery, each word is simple, yet their combination is elegant and shows shapely structure. Underated, with a message delivered well in the last two lines.
Re: After Fighting (More Blood Edit) by zodiac	17-Nov-05/5:15 AM
The short lived but sweet taste of revenge, well put.