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Love letter (Lyric) by zodiac Hey bellwether,
you've been letting
days run by untended-to,
when but for wanting
some small pleasure
I'd have held this ship together.
Hey lackadaisy,
say, Don't shake
the baby, don't break us with light.
Now the phone is ringing,
the porch door's swinging
my back 'cross a blaze of night.
Up the ladder:
Love Beget Lust
Down the ladder:
Stone Tablets
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.25
Posted: August 6, 2005 6:26 AM PDT; Last modified: November 17, 2005 5:55 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.3874097 Overall Rank: 3211 Comments:
Tight.
418 view(s)
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I see the initial story but can't help but wonder if you haven't deeply hidden one your sly metaphors into the body of this poem.
The last line is about the closest thing to a jingle I've ever seen you post. Which gives me the feeling that the dash out the door has happened more than once.
That's all I got for you so far.
"I've never dashed out a door, I'm just imaginative." Unless you are disabled the first parts a lie. But I know what you meant. I only meant the jingle gives things a repetitive effect. It replays in your head and I thought you meant to use the jingle to illustrate that this is stuff that goes on often.
Shake the baby was kinda obvious.
I do love the music of the piece. I can almost hear a kazoo at the end.
Also, my wife is one of the best special educators in America, (that's not just me talking, most people say this,) amd has several years' experience with actual shaken babies. This has not stopped her from declaring Shaken Baby Syndrome her "favorite disability" and occasionally, publicly pretending to be a shaken baby.
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
After a disastrous stint as an exchange student in Mexico with his ex-girlfriend Claire, Hap returns to grad-school in Orlando, is taken to north Georgia in a botched carjacking, meets his future wife Katie, gets nabbed in a crooked speed trap, moves to Chicago, completely dissolves his marriage, rebuilds it, meets his doppelganger, finds religion, and loses it again. All of these parts exist, though mostly not in a form I'd be proud to show people. Despite the similarities, his life is nothing at all like mine, except that we've been to all the same places.
Currently, Hap's a soil-scientist with a grown daughter on a Fulbright grant to Jordan. His life's about to be changed by a suicide bombing in a Starbucks (he is unharmed) and his daughter's relationship with an Arab. If he's not a feature film (in the Lost in Translation vein) within five years, I'll eat my dishdash.
It took me a while but I found out what a dishdash is and I had to read this of all things to find out.
http://www.sodomylaws.org/world/saudi_ar
"Shaken baby syndrome is a severe form of head injury that occurs when a baby is shaken forcibly enough to cause the baby's brain to rebound (bounce) against his or her skull."