Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 09:52:30 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Love letter (Lyric) by zodiac

Hey bellwether, you've been letting days run by untended-to, when but for wanting some small pleasure I'd have held this ship together. Hey lackadaisy, say, Don't shake the baby, don't break us with light. Now the phone is ringing, the porch door's swinging my back 'cross a blaze of night.

ALChemy

18-Nov-05/8:49 AM

I suppose you could say it's all jingle but the last verse is the only one that sounds really catchy to me. You can't blame me really for thinking this went deeper when you consider most of your poems are quite complex or at least most of the ones I've read. I'm sure you'll now give me like 10 links to simple poems of yours and I welcome them. It was only a very slight feeling I had that you had some secret meaning behind it. I'm actually pretty damn happy to see a simpler side to you.

"I've never dashed out a door, I'm just imaginative." Unless you are disabled the first parts a lie. But I know what you meant. I only meant the jingle gives things a repetitive effect. It replays in your head and I thought you meant to use the jingle to illustrate that this is stuff that goes on often.

Shake the baby was kinda obvious.

I do love the music of the piece. I can almost hear a kazoo at the end.

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