regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-06/3:36 PM
You've gone from sexy to Marquis de Sade. I miss sexy.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-06/3:50 PM
If it's a beat poem, theres to much forced rhyme. Zodiac would say if you have a verse poem try forcing it into a prose format and visa-versa. The flaw I see in doing this is that you can easily lose your emphasis. Still it was a fun read even if I didn't make sense of all of it.
Re: Shut Me Up by D. $ Fontera	4-Jan-06/3:53 PM
It's perfect in a plain and ordinary kind of way.
Re: light [edited] by lmp	4-Jan-06/3:57 PM
Lose the "The". Nice Haiku.
Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	4-Jan-06/4:11 PM
You forgot to describe yourself as like a niggard with money and a wet back when working.
Re: Half Hearted by elderking	4-Jan-06/5:41 PM
The flow is too marching band-like for a love poem. Don't be afraid to bleed one line into the other by continuing the sentence or changing the meter slightly to slow or quicken the pace for added effect. Maybe something like this: Those half hearted chances at loving once more in half tried romances leave me wanting for impassioned embraces. But allowed just so close. My loving heart races, while ours reach "almost". These pleasures, half tasted, amount to as much as kisses wasted, and hearts untouched.
Re: Claim to Call by MacFrantic	4-Jan-06/5:51 PM
The fragmented sentences don't seem to work for this. The last half of the poem is great.
Re: Goodbye Sad Door by woodstock20000	4-Jan-06/5:58 PM
Could have many different meanings. I kind of wish it was a little bit more specific as it sounds pretty personal. End it sad or happy or hopeful. Which ever way you like. It still sounds good.
Re: We'll be right back after these messages by INTRANSIT	4-Jan-06/6:04 PM
Hah! Once again it seems we posted poems on simular subjects. See, God does speak to us. And by God I mean TV. Witty stuff.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jan-06/8:45 AM
You ever see that scene in Happy Gilmore where Sandler rhymes? I know they do it alot in Rap but don't over rhyme unless you have a really, really, really, really, really, good reason.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jan-06/9:13 AM
Yes, Americans are slowly becoming more like Eskimos in their treatment of old people. Except for expressive language and one rhyme it doesn't really sound that much like a prose poem. Usually prose poems will have more poetic elements, I counted 2 similies and one small metaphor. Don't be afraid to jazz it up a little more.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jan-06/4:02 PM
Use "fuck" more sparingly so you don't just come off as a potty-mouth. Never again use "Master plan" in poetry unless your writing a satire on Rap music. What I like is the irony of a rant written in controled stanzas. It shows you have the discipline to write good stuff.
Re: MEANinglessness by lmp	5-Jan-06/4:10 PM
I think you have a good idea for what a prose poem should be. I think this one just needs more ambience.
Re: greymo(u)rn by lmp	6-Jan-06/2:49 PM
I like how you're diversifying yourself.
Re: What Matters by Dovina	8-Jan-06/3:52 PM
Who is he, Mr. Potatohead?
Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT	8-Jan-06/4:23 PM
I like this, except for "joking oak". How many jokes could a joking oak joke if a joking oak could joke oak jokes?
Re: A New Year Prayer by amanda_dcosta	9-Jan-06/1:38 AM
Nice flow. Too many caps though.
Re: floss every day by digipoet	9-Jan-06/3:21 AM
I hope your being sarcastic. If you really think an orderly life is the answer than good luck with that. As sarcasm I like it.
Re: portrait of powerlessness by digipoet	9-Jan-06/3:26 AM
Do you and LilMsLadyPoet know each other?
Re: Bloody Stools 'n' Butterflies by EAger to Offend	9-Jan-06/3:32 AM
See all of Dark Angel's poems and then realize you're outmatched.