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Goodbye Sad Door (Free verse) by woodstock20000 I watch him
he is an iron door
held tight
though which silver slivers of starlight
peek
like tiny flames through a
sieve of solitude
he opened it a crack once
with a small gesture
of... something
love,
or like,
or hope... of somesort
but closed it up again
before I could ever realize
how...
sad
it all was
and so I continue to
knock
uselessly
at the iron door
but sadly
he has eaten the key
and I shall never know his
starlight
again.
Up the ladder:
Between the Edges
Down the ladder:
Pine Boxes (revised)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.857143
Posted: January 2, 2006 2:02 AM PST; Last modified: January 2, 2006 2:08 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.230521 Overall Rank: 4237 Comments:
i agree with Dovina, but maybe:
"and so I continue to knock at the iron door will I never know his starlight again?" i tend to like the mystery and hope in that sort of ending. the imagination of each reader will keep the poem alive, rather than a clear finality ending it. the imagery is wonderful and my mind can see this door, perhaps even see the iron dust falling from one of the starlit slivers to the ground with each booming knock.
Could have many different meanings. I kind of wish it was a little bit more specific as it sounds pretty personal. End it sad or happy or hopeful. Which ever way you like. It still sounds good.
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and so I continue to
knock
at the iron door
I don't think the rest of it helps.