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A New Year Prayer (Other) by amanda_dcosta O Lord, bless us this New Year.
On Your name we call.
And may Your Holy Spirit
Fall upon us all.
Grant us grace and wisdom
Give us peace of mind,
For worldly strife and troubles
Donât treat us kind.
Hard times have been our brother,
Misfortune been our friend;
Selfishness and greed live on
That seems to never end.
This New Year may we start afresh
Forgiving all thatâs wrong;
And thus resolving to begin
A life thatâs filled with love.
O Lord bless us this New Year.
On Your name we call.
For start, fill us with love to share
With each and everyone.
Up the ladder:
forever mourning
Down the ladder:
Pinhole
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Posted: January 8, 2006 7:13 PM PST; Last modified: January 8, 2006 7:13 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0476813 Overall Rank: 6878 Comments:
[n/a]
amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37
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8-Jan-06/7:16 PM
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Reply
I wanted to post this poem on the 2nd Jan, unfortunately my comp crashed and afterthat I was out station. Nevertheless, it is a new year prayer for all the nations... Happy sharing!
For a second I thought you said "For [our sinful] worldly strife and troubles, don't treat us kindly [Lord]." Like you were asking him to treat us unkindly. I'm glad you weren't. Happy New Year.
Zodiac, thanks. and a happy new year to you. You still haven't reviewed my poem 'i love to see the sunrise'... was asking for your opinion on 'enjambment' which i tried to build it upon. the poem ain't great, but would love to note your construction opinion. Thanks.
That's what can happen if you over capitalize.
Nice flow. Too many caps though.
You mean like New Year and Holy Spirit?
More like on "Your".
Seriously, I didn't notice that. More like my absentmindedness. I wrote it, read it many times, checked for spelling and punctuation, and even looked out for caps now but failed to notice "Your".
Ha, ha.... must agree I was as usual over-confident. :-)
At least you use capitals. If I see another teener-poet use "i" again I swear I'm gonna puke.
i'm not a teener, but i hate the shift key. either ALL CAPS or all lowers sometimes. <grin> yeah i am lazy, but i never took typing.
Alchemy, you okay?
Har-har:)
Appologies for the teener-poet remark. There's some really great teen poets here, you included but in general ALL CAPS is used to imply yelling or corporate names and lower-case is more for whispers and smallness. If you use it arbitrarily it can be disconcerting for the reader. I was over-exaggerating with the puking thing a bit.
Epitomises an irritating and emetic type of yearning and humbleness that should be replaced with a more dignified form of submission to God.
Suit yourself, cyan9. All the same, God bless us all this New Year. Happy New Year!
line 10: "Misfortune's been out friend;" (add the "'s")
line 17: add a comma after "Lord", as in line 1. not my style poem, but a nice sentiment. i suppose the aetheists don't deserve a happy new year? it is, in my opinion, the danger of writing a prayer-type poem, i suppose. thanks and happy new year in return.
oops. line 10: "Misfortune's been our friend;" not "out friend as I corrected. heh heh.
<grin> I agree there have been a couple of mistakes, but the main theme has come through. Thanks for your review.....much appreciated.
:-) 266 view(s)
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