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A New Year Prayer (Other) by amanda_dcosta
O Lord, bless us this New Year. On Your name we call. And may Your Holy Spirit Fall upon us all. Grant us grace and wisdom Give us peace of mind, For worldly strife and troubles Don’t treat us kind. Hard times have been our brother, Misfortune been our friend; Selfishness and greed live on That seems to never end. This New Year may we start afresh Forgiving all that’s wrong; And thus resolving to begin A life that’s filled with love. O Lord bless us this New Year. On Your name we call. For start, fill us with love to share With each and everyone.

Up the ladder: Bluegrass Blueshield
Down the ladder: The Marble Me

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.0476813
Overall Rank: 6871
Posted: January 8, 2006 7:13 PM PST; Last modified: January 8, 2006 7:13 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 | 8-Jan-06/7:16 PM | Reply
I wanted to post this poem on the 2nd Jan, unfortunately my comp crashed and afterthat I was out station. Nevertheless, it is a new year prayer for all the nations... Happy sharing!
[8] zodiac @ 209.193.18.233 | 8-Jan-06/8:30 PM | Reply
For a second I thought you said "For [our sinful] worldly strife and troubles, don't treat us kindly [Lord]." Like you were asking him to treat us unkindly. I'm glad you weren't. Happy New Year.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > zodiac | 8-Jan-06/9:08 PM | Reply
Zodiac, thanks. and a happy new year to you. You still haven't reviewed my poem 'i love to see the sunrise'... was asking for your opinion on 'enjambment' which i tried to build it upon. the poem ain't great, but would love to note your construction opinion. Thanks.
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 9-Jan-06/1:36 AM | Reply
That's what can happen if you over capitalize.
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 9-Jan-06/1:38 AM | Reply
Nice flow. Too many caps though.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > ALChemy | 9-Jan-06/2:56 AM | Reply
You mean like New Year and Holy Spirit?
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > amanda_dcosta | 9-Jan-06/3:06 AM | Reply
More like on "Your".
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > ALChemy | 9-Jan-06/3:22 AM | Reply
Seriously, I didn't notice that. More like my absentmindedness. I wrote it, read it many times, checked for spelling and punctuation, and even looked out for caps now but failed to notice "Your".

Ha, ha.... must agree I was as usual over-confident. :-)
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > amanda_dcosta | 9-Jan-06/3:35 AM | Reply
At least you use capitals. If I see another teener-poet use "i" again I swear I'm gonna puke.
[6] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 > ALChemy | 9-Jan-06/10:37 AM | Reply
i'm not a teener, but i hate the shift key. either ALL CAPS or all lowers sometimes. <grin> yeah i am lazy, but i never took typing.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > lmp | 10-Jan-06/1:40 AM | Reply
Alchemy, you okay?
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > amanda_dcosta | 10-Jan-06/10:00 AM | Reply
Har-har:)
[9] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > lmp | 10-Jan-06/10:00 AM | Reply
Appologies for the teener-poet remark. There's some really great teen poets here, you included but in general ALL CAPS is used to imply yelling or corporate names and lower-case is more for whispers and smallness. If you use it arbitrarily it can be disconcerting for the reader. I was over-exaggerating with the puking thing a bit.
[4] cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105 | 9-Jan-06/6:05 AM | Reply
Epitomises an irritating and emetic type of yearning and humbleness that should be replaced with a more dignified form of submission to God.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > cyan9 | 9-Jan-06/9:10 AM | Reply
Suit yourself, cyan9. All the same, God bless us all this New Year. Happy New Year!
[6] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 9-Jan-06/10:42 AM | Reply
line 10: "Misfortune's been out friend;" (add the "'s")

line 17: add a comma after "Lord", as in line 1.

not my style poem, but a nice sentiment. i suppose the aetheists don't deserve a happy new year? it is, in my opinion, the danger of writing a prayer-type poem, i suppose.
thanks and happy new year in return.
[6] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 > lmp | 9-Jan-06/10:44 AM | Reply
oops. line 10: "Misfortune's been our friend;" not "out friend as I corrected. heh heh.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > lmp | 10-Jan-06/1:42 AM | Reply
<grin> I agree there have been a couple of mistakes, but the main theme has come through. Thanks for your review.....much appreciated.

:-)
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