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Claim to Call (Free verse) by MacFrantic Silence beckoned
Couldn't speak
Buried rainbows in the heat
Poor in pride to watch them go
Those shattered rivers' ebb and flow
There we were along the water
Shouting for a sight to see
When thence came forth a claim to call
The silence of our memories
Up the ladder:
A Night By The Shore
Down the ladder:
we can't walk forever
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: January 2, 2006 11:13 AM PST; Last modified: January 2, 2006 11:13 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4048 Comments:
[7]
Prince of Void @ 213.207.224.156
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2-Jan-06/12:37 PM
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Reply
silence of memories haunted ur poem ...nice job
I like the idea of this, "Shouting for a sight to see" when the realization stikes "a claim to call on the silence of our memories" as a better thing to do than looking for some sight to see. Maybe that's not what you meant, but I like it.
The fragmented sentences don't seem to work for this.
The last half of the poem is great. 179 view(s)
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