Re: The Best Thing I Ever Had by faithmairee	12-Mar-06/12:19 PM
That's a real lyric, not pretend poetry posing as one. It also feels very tangible; I think I would enjoy listening to this in my car, driving home at dusk.
Re: The Devil's Carnival by Ranger	12-Mar-06/12:14 PM
Extremely cool indeed. I loved "Flashing lights become a string of pearls"... for some reason, the initial image it conjured up was of the glowing circle the lights of a ferris wheel would describe if it were spinning very fast... and then slowing down, until each light is individually distinguishable, a string (well, more like a ring) of pearls.
Re: Windflower by matt door	11-Mar-06/12:39 PM
I'm afraid my heavy breath come dawn isn't that sweet... that aside, I enjoyed the composition and flow of your poem.
Re: mundane routine by justarandomtuesday	11-Mar-06/11:26 AM
wow, action packed poem! A bit too long for my taste; I feel that it would pack a harder punch if you were to shorten it. You have some really good imagery, though, and it makes for an interesting read.
Re: Spoken word (draft) by Adriaan	11-Mar-06/11:14 AM
I'm afraid this poem doesn't read as a whole at all. You don't seem to be saying anything meaningful; you start out with Words and end up with Sex. So? The title isn't really relevant to what you're saying, either. I'd like to see this finished, with a beginning and an end. Perhaps then I can relate to what you're trying to say. As it is, it's a fragment, and I won't vote on it.
Re: _The Black Prince_ by Caducus	9-Mar-06/11:38 AM
This is extremely good. However, I disagree with Ranger in that it still needs some work. First and foremost, 'Seppuku' jarred on me intensely because I had envisioned a medieval setting; it doesn't seem to harmonize at all with the rest of the poem. In addition, shouldn't "conquered by I" be "conquered by me; the Black Prince"? Not until I had read the poem again did I notice that the narrator was forced to conquer the kingdom; but the other prince was greeted by cheer(s?) and garlands. I guess he had it easier...
Re: Relive the Fifth by Miggy	8-Mar-06/9:08 AM
Just curious, what do you mean by the First, Second and so on? I don't get it... but I'd like to.
Re: Seawards by ecargo	6-Mar-06/2:18 PM
I actually read this out loud to myself; it helped complete a very vivid and beautifully tangible poem. Reminded me I haven't been to the sea in a while... Had to google 'scoters', though, being myself painfully ignorant.
Re: At Last in the Garden by ecargo	5-Mar-06/10:30 AM
Heh. I knew this was gonna be good once I read the first line. :-) I thought the contrast between the surging, wild second stanza and the sudden lull in the third was great; I love your imagery.
Re: a comment on An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	1-Mar-06/10:31 PM
*cheers* spot on!
Re: Filler by MacFrantic	1-Mar-06/10:30 PM
ooh! me likee!
Re: Pine Boxes (revised) by Joe-joe	1-Mar-06/10:24 PM
more spelling: "suits FARE no better..." I loved the first stanza!
Re: Together They Fell (Prose) by Fayt	1-Mar-06/10:18 PM
It's long; but the fact that I read the whole thing through says something. I think I preferred this as a poem, though; as a story, it's just too full of cliches to sweep me along. The idea is very romantic, and I think with some polish this piece could improve. A good place to start would be with the opening paragraph, which I find clumsy. The redundancy and repetition of "defined by many definitions", "its more pain than I can bear... I cannot bear the pain I feel... this pain I feel" detracts from the body of the poem and is not an adequate introduction. However, like I said, it does show potential, and the final paragraph is very sweet :-)
Re: Whalecrack by wlshepherd	1-Mar-06/9:36 PM
I agree with LilMissLady. I especially liked the fourth stanza ("snake-hipped weaver"!) but I feel your poem lacks the cohesiveness it should have, in that I'm not left with any sort of lingering concept or thought at the end of the poem. No vote, because I think this can be better.
Re: the disadvantages of dropping out by FreeFormFixation	1-Mar-06/9:30 PM
...And for some reason, I identify completely with this poem. Made me think.
Re: Today's Spam by nentwined	26-Feb-06/9:39 AM
I always love being encouraged to enlarge my penis... it's so titillating.
Re: cat by Dental Panic	26-Feb-06/9:25 AM
isn't it spelled "airborne"? My fave is the first stanza. Terrific :-)
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	18-Feb-06/9:38 AM
I thought the double meanings of "Beams like the door Pining for forests long gone" were terrific. Great imagery; I love the way each successive word adds a little more texture to the poem. -9-
Re: a comment on Whales in Gastineau Channel by zodiac	3-Feb-06/12:29 PM
On the subject of cameras, I actually think that "Kodaks and anoraks" sounds better :-)
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	29-Jan-06/11:30 AM
It reads beautifully. A little long perhaps, but each individual line is worth it.