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Whalecrack (Other) by wlshepherd
Whalecrack and poppycock, I sprained my sock. Sleek mac wont mend my shack, Or hurt my back. Sea-gull egg, I weep and beg- Don't touch my leg. Treacle fever, from an unbeliever, Sent to bed by the snake-hipped weaver. Through greasy rain and warming pain, I start to descend the hill again.

Up the ladder: chris (not finished yet)
Down the ladder: OLD AGE BLUES

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 2.5
Weighted score: 4.7019925
Overall Rank: 12008
Posted: February 28, 2006 10:23 AM PST; Last modified: February 28, 2006 10:23 AM PST
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Comments:
[2] terbenaw @ 68.127.118.201 | 1-Mar-06/12:20 AM | Reply
You rated me a 4? If this... 'poem' is any indication, your skills are weak... you wouldn't even log on and comment on it... if it's so horrible, why not tell me what you found so screwed up... offer some constructive criticism or something... don't just go on some anonymous BS...

Now... this poem has no purpose... it sounds like a poem parody or something... it's garbage... There's no deep meaning or even a surface meaning... Scrap this and come with something your abilities can create if you spent more time on it... I'll give you a two just for posting this junk.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.11 | 1-Mar-06/12:27 AM | Reply
I must concur with Terbenaw, this appears to have taken 2 minutes to write and has nothing to offer the reader.
[3] LilMsLadyPoet @ 64.12.116.14 | 1-Mar-06/8:21 AM | Reply
I post,vote, and then go read the votes and comments...that said...I'll be interested in how people took this...I never know in here! I like the last two stanzas, good rythm and they seem to form an ending to a picture of something...but the previous lines don't draw a picture or mean anything, to me, and are lacking in every way.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 1-Mar-06/9:16 AM | Reply
Heh, personally I love nonsense poetry. I do, however, prefer nonsense poems to keep a strong sense of timing...also, I'd like to see more imagery than you give here.
Gave me the impression of a beggar (slum being patched up with an abandoned piece of plastic, sea-gull egg (coin), tragic injury etc. etc. etc.)
[n/a] Niphredil @ 132.68.1.29 | 1-Mar-06/9:36 PM | Reply
I agree with LilMissLady. I especially liked the fourth stanza ("snake-hipped weaver"!) but I feel your poem lacks the cohesiveness it should have, in that I'm not left with any sort of lingering concept or thought at the end of the poem. No vote, because I think this can be better.
[5] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 | 3-Mar-06/11:00 AM | Reply
Some good soundplay but good nonsense poems make you want to believe they make sense. This just comes off as random garble.
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