poemranker ::Seawards by ecargo

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 140220

Seawards

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Mar 2006 · Edited 7 Mar 2006 · 5 comments

Oldsquaw talks across the water: all all UP! at wing-blade paddle’s catch and glide. We skim like scoters rising, falling seaskycradle to the race, the piling wavelets salt-spray surge across scant freeboard, free of cove’s close clasp, each set of waves white-edged and sweeping seaward. Sway, we sway the rising falling swell to heaven, spear like heron, rock-a-bye the dun-sand border, running sea the way out, way in.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 9.60 weighted 5.55 rank 2483 views 253 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

5 comments

[9] Ranger 6-Mar-06/11:11 AM Reply
This absolutely raced past - with the exception of the last line, did you mean for it to slow down there?
[n/a] ecargo › Ranger 6-Mar-06/1:31 PM Reply
I meant for it to stop there. ;) Actually, this is cobbled from something longer that's just not working--was hoping having this bit of it flopping around out here might help me figure out how to fix it.
[9] Niphredil 6-Mar-06/2:18 PM Reply
I actually read this out loud to myself; it helped complete a very vivid and beautifully tangible poem. Reminded me I haven't been to the sea in a while...

Had to google 'scoters', though, being myself painfully ignorant.
[9] Ranger 7-Mar-06/9:42 AM Reply
I'm not sure what's changed...ergo I re-grace you with a nine.
[n/a] ecargo › Ranger 7-Mar-06/10:16 AM Reply
Just tweaked a few lines. Gracias.