Re: Whispers the Pariah by Enkidu	18-Mar-07/8:11 PM
Take the l out of suckling
Re: Oliver by Stephen Robins	22-Mar-07/2:27 PM
If it were not for your straining chief, Oliver, this could move erotically into a second verse of laughingly intense intimacy.
Re: This life is sheer nonsense by Prince of Void	22-Mar-07/2:29 PM
So eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you die. Give up all this senseless gloom.
Re: Hairball by jessicazee	24-Mar-07/5:58 AM
Writers in English often think haiku must have three lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, a misunderstanding of the Japanese onji. Concision is key. thing on my rug, I forgot to wipe thank you cat Just a suggestion.
Re: The Finding by Skamper	24-Mar-07/8:56 AM
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. Thus I render what they have often preached to me: you are too vague; some nice lines in your three poems here, but whatever they are saying is too well camouflaged. But you’re doing okay here and seem able to tolerate guff, and thus might last awhile.
Re: the magic rock by nypoet22	24-Mar-07/4:24 PM
Yes to the first two questions, no to the third, and ace to the last verse.
Re: Guarded Fool by drnick	24-Mar-07/4:33 PM
Either join the army or a woman. The last two lines suggest the latter, and so do I.
Re: Cane by richa	27-Mar-07/2:42 PM
I thought of John Newton, an English slave ship captain for 20 years. He quit all that, sided with the abolition movement, and wrote the song of the movie's title, "Amazing Grace" When he got old and blind, he said, "I was blind, but now I see," and then asked the question, "Did I write that?" A good movie.
Re: Jai guru deva om by Crakyamuni	30-Mar-07/4:37 PM
Are you a Beatles fan? "Across the Universe." How that relates to the ancient manuscript, Nag Hammadi, or why it is mere noise, I don't get. The Word or Logos is, I suppose, begotten. Perhaps whatever you mean is too involved for haiku.
Re: You can't send love to a voicemail. by drnick	30-Mar-07/4:38 PM
Hi, it's me again, sending you love in a voicemail.
Re: Empty by Skamper	30-Mar-07/4:42 PM
I think, like others do, that you should use better grammar - mot necessarily perfect grammar, but something closer to conformity. That way, someone besides you might get what you're saying.
Re: you've returned i'm glad by richa	4-Apr-07/10:34 AM
Speak to that squirrel on your windowsill if you will, or go tip-tapping with me on that birch. I am most surprised, however, to see a gentleman in a tatty coat.
Re: Easter should be closer to Christmas by MacFrantic	4-Apr-07/10:38 AM
How does a drum play? And what does it matter what day Easter and Christmas are on? Some provocative unintelligible lines here.
Re: A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON . . . by stevopoet	6-Apr-07/7:15 AM
The title is a bit cliche, and the endnote shows us nothing new. Allusions are good, but not carried through, not built upon. The old English is out-of-place when not used throughout.
Re: A touch so real by mr_ice55	11-Apr-07/7:02 PM
If you want the opening to draw people in, then make it make sense like, "Subsiding within myself" Also, reversing the normal order of sentences in two of the last three lines could better be undone. Some good feelings here overall.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Apr-07/7:53 PM
Try cutting all the words that don't carry meaning, i.e. thunderstorm hides horrific story scene of murder 575 is bunk.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Apr-07/7:55 PM
Please don't vote yourself a ten; it's bad taste. Starry skies haunt my deep sleep past memories
Re: Easter by thetrev	14-Apr-07/6:39 PM
Just vague enough to keep distance, clear enough to intrigue. I love S4.
Re: Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha	15-Apr-07/1:21 PM
I think you want a period after bed in S4. L2,S5 needs a more descriptive last word I think; and "so" is a weak word. Otherwise this is unique and good.
Re: Divorce by timvick473662003	16-Apr-07/6:56 PM
Wouldn't it mean the same if you shortened it: Start separately Become one She takes all your stuff But then it wouldn't be 5-7-5. Pity.