regarding some deleted poem...	4-Mar-07/3:28 PM
Leave it at the first line and stop writing poetry! Love is better!
Re: Hurt by Bethy	9-Mar-07/1:18 PM
The first thing that comes to mind, besides liking this, is that the "faint signs of cracking" in your painted smile are something he might notice, but you might not. I'd put it third person, i.e. As he turned and walked away, the painted smile upon her face, . . .
Re: The Landscape by Sasha	12-Mar-07/6:09 PM
This place has become overrun with vermin while you were away. Not much to do here anymore, unless you want to discuss feces and the like. I always like your poems, and Desnos must be ok too, but how would I know? Best of luck wherever you post.
Re: Within by drnick	12-Mar-07/6:10 PM
Hey, please don't join them; you can do better.
Re: i feel so cold by minty871	12-Mar-07/6:15 PM
If you want to use street language, ok, but it's a bit off-putting as it comes only late in the poem. I bet this is a good song; like to hear it.
Re: Just today by MacFrantic	12-Mar-07/6:18 PM
Pretty good.
Re: A New Deal (Rewrite) by oneglove	12-Mar-07/6:22 PM
Too much explaining and generalizing, where just showing the scene and the man's feelings would work better. With a well-worn topic like this, something unique is needed. I do like the Chorus.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Mar-07/6:29 PM
I like your stretches of words - grouts, lathes - even if they are far-fetched. Shouldn't it be Daimler's?
Re: A Question by poetry_rancour	13-Mar-07/10:21 AM
Beau is a boyfriend. But what is a "boo'? Anyway, a funny thought.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/10:33 AM
Welcome to Poemranker. Please ignore the slobs who have splattered this place of late, and realize that before there were some who actually tried to write and to comment. Hang in for a while and see what happens. And btw, this is rather clever and unusual. I especially like "throbbing ovaries/ eggs on legs/ legs on the move."
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/12:29 PM
It has a good rhythm and a good flow with a few exceptions – “in a daycare” “many books now become a stack” I don’t understand “its a companion that I lack.” It seems it’s a life you do not lack. Do you mean Cheerios, the breakfast cereal; or cheerios, goodbyes? I suspect the former.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/1:19 PM
lol
Re: Her Mitts by Nepanthe	13-Mar-07/1:26 PM
Ranger is right - the last line inversion sucks. The internal rhymes of Verse 1 are nice.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/1:31 PM
breath should be breathe. A good metaphor, but somewhat repetitive, and a bit too obvious. It doesn't work well in a sonnet as written, free verse maybe.
Re: Abused Light by Greeny	13-Mar-07/3:03 PM
Good descriptions of fireworks exploding in the night, if that's what it is. I don't see why light is abused, unless the fireworks are irritating someone; it's not clear. I think "expose" needs an apostrophe on the last e. The semicolon should be a colon or dash, I think.
Re: Business As Usual (Nothing Personal) by poetry_rancour	14-Mar-07/12:49 PM
Sorry, I don't picture this beast.
Re: You Could Be A Winner by poetry_rancour	14-Mar-07/12:53 PM
Yep, those are about equal odds. "dividend" works, but "strife"? Maybe something more fatal.
Re: Wait by MacFrantic	14-Mar-07/12:57 PM
Sung, it might move me, but just reading, it seems like repetitive meander without arriving.
Re: Jess and Andrea during english class by jesslew	14-Mar-07/1:03 PM
Jess is a woman (can have children) apparently by Andrea, a man. Then Andrea will soon be a mom. Nice. At least the lines are 5-7-5.
Re: A Lesson by nypoet22	18-Mar-07/8:07 PM
You must be a good teacher if they react in any way at all.