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Abused Light (Free verse) by Greeny Celebrating with glow,
A high rise to a slow,
And a breath-taking expose,
Colourful; tangerine to rose,
Spontaneous explosions in the sky at night,
Bringing joy by abusing light,
Noise of thunder,
Bringing fantasy and wonder,
Beautiful souls escaping,
Forming and shaping,
Throwing sparks of marble balls,
Up â bright â fades â falls,
The beauty returns to Earthâs face,
Dies to ash at a floating pace,
Never seen again,
Leaving with a fiery grain.
Up the ladder:
Transient
Down the ladder:
I
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Posted: March 13, 2007 2:27 PM PDT; Last modified: March 13, 2007 2:27 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9205313 Overall Rank: 9477 Comments:
[6]
richa @ 81.179.219.225
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13-Mar-07/2:50 PM
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Reply
The abused light is an intriguing word choice but the reader is not let in why you think it is appropriate. I like the again grain rhyme. Some of the others are a little obvious.
Good descriptions of fireworks exploding in the night, if that's what it is. I don't see why light is abused, unless the fireworks are irritating someone; it's not clear. I think "expose" needs an apostrophe on the last e. The semicolon should be a colon or dash, I think.
By apostrophe you mean acute accent. By colon or dash you mean semicolon. And it's obvious why light is being abused. God did not intend such unnatural bursts of colour to stain the night sky. He made the night black, not electric blue, or luminous green. Only once has He ever allowed fireworks, and that was immediately after the Resurrection, where they were accompanied by a laser light show and foam party, all choreographed to Simply The Best by Tina Turner.
Are you reading the long debunked King George Version, or are you astoundingly, radiantly ignorant of Scripture? Having made humans in His image, God indirectly made everything we made.
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