Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (Free verse) by elizabethann
D is for the darkness that covers my broken home I is for the insults that they scream so loud V is for the versions of the story that I'm told O is for the options that no longer seem to exist R is for the reality that I wish would go away C is the comfort that I lost because of this E is for the ending which I wish I'd never know And D.I.V.O.R.C.E. is for the hatred, which is all I have been shown.

Up the ladder: graveyard hood-ornament
Down the ladder: why there are no virgins

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.9205313
Overall Rank: 9484
Posted: April 26, 2004 3:02 PM PDT; Last modified: April 26, 2004 3:02 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 26-Apr-04/3:08 PM | Reply
I thought this was going to be the pilot of a TV series about a crack team of secret agents who burst into meth labs in the middle of the night and adminster instant divorces to all the evildoers inside. I was wildly excited for a brief, sodden moment.
[6] zodiac @ 152.18.129.57 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Apr-04/7:57 PM | Reply
It could be Detective Ironshoe's Vast Organization of Roving Crack Enforcers.
[7] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 26-Apr-04/6:58 PM | Reply
I think you have too many "that" s. I'd dump them from:
insults that they
story that I'm
reality that I wish
comfort that I lost
and the "which" from: ending which I wish
options that no longer seem to exist ->options no longer existing
the hatred, which is all -> the hatred and
Good stuff though. I feel it.
175 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001