A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON . . .

Member since 2006 · Posted 6 Apr 2007 · 2 comments

When shall my mouth have a feel of yours? When is it for me to build my dream? From Garden of Eden through Thebes A dream was built of an Adam and an Eve Of it the bone of an Adam, comes that of an Eve A helper, the name giveth to her by the most High. And to forget not to share with the same tongue, The fruit of life, full of grief and glee. There begin from the beginning, the rituals called kiss. Whither thy kiss for me to build my dream? A dream envisioned on a solid rock of Gibraltar That which cannot become grime in the wind. Kiss causing tongues to speak off known languages An arrow that ruffles and travels through the taste bud I am a dreamer in search of a kiss to heal my maw sour Just drop it . . . and off I go to build up a dream in the sky. Alayande Stephen T. 1.09am 7th of December 2006 Conceptualized for a lady called Tobi, In the mad quest to have a kiss to build a dream on.

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2 comments

[6] Dovina 6-Apr-07/7:15 AM Reply

The title is a bit cliche, and the endnote shows us nothing new. Allusions are good, but not carried through, not built upon. The old English is out-of-place when not used throughout.

[2] Stephen Robins 10-Apr-07/4:04 AM Reply

This is a terrible poem, if indeed it could be called a poem. Showing off that you know Gibraltar has a rock and that Thebes lies next door to the Garden of Eden is not sufficient to make up for the appallingly squelchy line: "That which cannot become grime in the wind."