Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

the magic rock (Free verse) by nypoet22
..."We are in a conflict between good and evil. ... And America will call evil by its name." ... -George W. Bush would God's voice whine the electric guitar or the dyspeptic sputter of methane rising toxic from the earth? would He cast a spell of itching insects that affix their stiff pincers onto the genitals of passers-by? Or did someone appropriate His tongue, flay the back of each valiant fool who hoped to fight evil in His name? would this magistrate manage citations for little pedestrians who traffic in the desert wilderness, gate-keep some top floor built above the mass, his face awry and jagged perched as a boulder hangs on the cliff's edge? go, step to that bitter well, take a sip of the world he wants to show, where God does not believe in middle-class, and don't blame Moses for striking his staff instead of trying to talk to the snickering mageface of a rock.

Up the ladder: A Moment Alone
Down the ladder: simply missing

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 20
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.2980075
Overall Rank: 3707
Posted: March 24, 2007 9:21 AM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2007 11:07 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 208.127.114.163 | 24-Mar-07/4:24 PM | Reply
Yes to the first two questions, no to the third, and ace to the last verse.
[n/a] nypoet22 @ 65.8.0.18 > Dovina | 12-May-07/10:58 AM | Reply
does this clear things up any?
[9] Dovina @ 24.127.101.16 > nypoet22 | 14-May-07/3:49 AM | Reply
It doesn't clear anything up, but it's better in the edit. I think you could find a Bush quote that speaks more directly to the idea of listening to God - maybe not. He has been coy about it. Good and evil can be addressed without God, so to clarify would be to show how Bush claims to rely on what he thinks is revelation from the almighty. In a way Bush does strike a rock as Moses did in anger when God did not do what Moses wanted. That's a good analogy.
[9] Skamper @ 202.6.132.11 | 24-Mar-07/8:35 PM | Reply
You could lost the 'but'...always seems a way of apology for what went before. Very clever write, and one to hang on the mind for a while.
[n/a] nypoet22 @ 65.8.0.18 > Skamper | 13-May-07/9:00 AM | Reply
revised.
[9] Skamper @ 202.6.130.219 > nypoet22 | 17-May-07/1:44 AM | Reply
I don't like quoting others to justify a write. I liked this much better the first time around.
The last stanza is brilliant...

Also - I do love the way the quote ends...a little ambigiously (spell check), the way I read it Bush is named as the evil. *S*
[8] richa @ 81.179.219.225 | 25-Mar-07/12:10 PM | Reply
The last verse is out of kilter. The poem is the narrator pondering certain questions but then he says to not blame Moses.
[8] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > richa | 25-Mar-07/12:48 PM | Reply
I don't see the problem.
[n/a] nypoet22 @ 65.8.0.18 > Ranger | 12-May-07/11:01 AM | Reply
I added an introductory quote and a verse in the middle in an attempt to clarify. good? bad? other?
[9] deleted user @ 64.140.228.194 | 22-May-07/8:59 AM | Reply
good work. I like anything that bashes Bush--especially when it's done as well as this.
[8] richa @ 81.178.221.67 | 22-May-07/9:36 AM | Reply
I like the final verse now.
265 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001