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Empty (Free verse) by Skamper
Lipstick bleeds a trail over rails of broken teeth she sharpens Painting smiles on hardened glass shattering past the death reflection draped upon a covered skeleton On slickened path beauty faded fast ghosting dreams chase her uneven walk she talks - in love’s tongues Jaded history leads her to razored misery the delicate trickle glintz in ebony lights scarred womb rejects the failure

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10290
Posted: March 30, 2007 3:24 PM PDT; Last modified: March 30, 2007 3:24 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Dovina @ 208.127.114.22 | 30-Mar-07/4:42 PM | Reply
I think, like others do, that you should use better grammar - mot necessarily perfect grammar, but something closer to conformity. That way, someone besides you might get what you're saying.
[n/a] Skamper @ 202.6.129.18 > Dovina | 30-Mar-07/5:16 PM | Reply
Grammar, it's always such a sticking point. I will learn no doubt, then it might become natural, like what I write is to me now! Someone might just get me anyway, that's the one I want to reach...
[6] pete @ 62.56.90.230 | 15-Jun-07/6:34 AM | Reply
explanation will often ruin a poem, i know, but is this about an alcoholic suicide or lonesome solitude .... or something else entirely
[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.14.30 > pete | 19-Oct-07/5:26 AM | Reply
I'm not really sure - it arrived in a picture, like a snapshot and I wrote it...I find it just sad
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