poemranker ::The Finding by Skamper

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Free verse № 151135

The Finding

by Skamper

Member since 2007 · Posted 22 Mar 2007 · 6 comments

the T.V. set to blaring comatose shapes arranged various contemplated positionings red eyes find the telling of mother’s fantasy lies over-compensating ears well-attuned to listening and minds too quick - for shadowey scenarios he’s back for better or worse - worsening fears spreadable ingestible and we watch the sickening march odd eyes glazing matting discards clinging and jostling for position - and the stench filling we – make the fussing bearable collecting babbling ideas relief in evidence bagged and tagged for later examination so – one returned and one due back we fear he lies too far beyond - the finding

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6 comments

[7] Dovina 24-Mar-07/8:56 AM Reply
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. Thus I render what they have often preached to me: you are too vague; some nice lines in your three poems here, but whatever they are saying is too well camouflaged. But you’re doing okay here and seem able to tolerate guff, and thus might last awhile.
[n/a] Skamper › Dovina 24-Mar-07/8:27 PM Reply
Vague? Yes-I guess I am. The Search and The Finding are connected. I appreciate your review and honesty, which is why I decided to join. As for the guff, a word I haven't heard sinse the old country-but I have a nice pile of it handy. Many thanks.
[7] richa 25-Mar-07/11:42 AM Reply
The finding, and the searching for that matter, sounds terribly portentious. I think the pome needs something more concrete to convince that there is something behind the shadows.
[n/a] Skamper › richa 30-Mar-07/3:58 PM Reply
Portentious? Meaning they are literally that, a search and a finding? Hmmm...That's exactly what the writes are about. I think this poem needs nothing, it works for me. There isn't anything lurking behind shadows, it's all there...a little scrambled but I like my ideas that way.
[5] pete 15-Jun-07/6:23 AM Reply
reads like a wordsmith's musing on an empty-minded sunny sunday afternoon;... will search later for hidden depths, should there be any
[n/a] Skamper › pete 19-Oct-07/5:18 AM Reply
bring a bucket and spade - if we can't find the hidden depths, making sand-castles is just as fun