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Hairball (Haiku) by jessicazee
That thing on my rug, I forgot to wipe it up. Thank my cat for that.

Up the ladder: Finest Hour
Down the ladder: Snow

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Weighted score: 5.0715218
Overall Rank: 6575
Posted: March 24, 2007 4:59 AM PDT; Last modified: March 24, 2007 4:59 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 208.127.114.132 | 24-Mar-07/5:58 AM | Reply
Writers in English often think haiku must have three lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, a misunderstanding of the Japanese onji. Concision is key.

thing on my rug,
I forgot to wipe
thank you cat

Just a suggestion.
[n/a] jessicazee @ 65.30.187.185 > Dovina | 25-Mar-07/4:00 AM | Reply
That is a good way. Tell me more about onji? I know not.
[6] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > jessicazee | 25-Mar-07/1:04 PM | Reply
Why does everyone have to try and write haiku exactly as the Japanese write it? I don't see what's so awfully horrendously terrible about writing a 5-7-5 poeme with Western devices and still calling it an haiku.
[7] Dovina @ 208.127.114.45 > Ranger | 25-Mar-07/7:47 PM | Reply
I don't see what's so terrible about calling a rat a mouse or a vilanelle a sonnet. Or a an ace poem a zero. But then what is language for?
[6] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > Dovina | 27-Mar-07/2:17 AM | Reply
Consider:

1) the meaning of 'rat', being a natural kind term, is fixed across all possible worlds. Therefore, to call it 'mouse' would still necessarily entail the meaning 'rat'.

2) the meaning of 'villanelle' is set by its inherent awesomeness, to call it a sonnet would be bow'ls.

3) the meaning of 'ace poeme' is set by the patented MEDIOCRITY CHECKLISTE, to deviate from such procedure will inevitably result in a protracted spell in the corner wearing the pointy hat of shame.

4) the meaning of 'haiku' relies on certain conditions specific to the linguistic devices of a certain culture, devices which are inaccessible to other cultures. Therefore, the term 'haiku' is not an universally fixed referent and can be acceptably altered in meaning outside of its natural habitat. Besides, saying that you shouldn't call something an haiku just because it's not in Japanese is like saying FitzGerald was totally, utterly morally wrong for his version of the Rubaiyat because it was NOT HOW THE AUTHOR WROTE IT!!!!!!!!!111oneone

If you were to say that, maybe, this should be a senryu rather than an haiku, then I'd listen.
[7] Dovina @ 75.82.86.162 > Ranger | 27-Mar-07/2:56 PM | Reply
The meaning of 'haiku' relies on certain conditions specific to the linguistic devices of a certain culture, as you say. But why should those devices be completely inaccessible to other cultures. Granted, the old Japanese writers have something unique, but why should an English writer not try to move with the form like a non-Argentinean adapts her dance style to the Tango. The term 'haiku' is not a universally fixed referent, as you say, and can be acceptably altered in meaning outside of its natural habitat. But in calling it “haiku” the writer is trying to adapt to the original meaning in another habitat, otherwise the word has no meaning but “short poem.”
[10] richa @ 81.179.219.225 > Dovina | 28-Mar-07/2:33 AM | Reply
Stop this madness! Ungodly Basho. Ungodly Onitsura. Ungodly the two images that gain magical properties when you put them together. It is spring and o look a frog. It is winter o look an old man. Ungodly the bloody Japanese they are so exotic. Ungodly the power mysterious to which every Japanese word must be calculated. Lo orient magic. Lo magnificent non-sequitur. Bloody rain cloud.
[7] Dovina @ 208.127.114.45 > jessicazee | 25-Mar-07/7:49 PM | Reply
Only very old Japanese know.
[5] Skamper @ 202.6.132.11 | 24-Mar-07/8:31 PM | Reply
Nice images, well I say nice because it appears without force, as for the actual image..real nice!
[n/a] jessicazee @ 65.30.187.185 > Skamper | 25-Mar-07/4:14 AM | Reply
Thanks. I really find my idea of haiku (5-7-5) is the funnest poetry ever! Omigod!

Oh my f-ing God!
I can't remember that song,
something something yeah.
[6] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > jessicazee | 25-Mar-07/1:03 PM | Reply
lol
[10] richa @ 81.179.219.225 | 25-Mar-07/12:01 PM | Reply
Haiku should be two images that intersect. This isn't. Also it is ambiguous. Are you thanking the cat for wiping it up or for making it.
[6] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > richa | 25-Mar-07/1:05 PM | Reply
Absolutely nothing wrong with ambiguity, as you'll know if you've read your Empson.
[10] richa @ 81.179.219.225 > Ranger | 25-Mar-07/1:29 PM | Reply
bow'ls.
[6] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > richa | 27-Mar-07/2:06 AM | Reply
prawne lube :-(
[10] richa @ 81.179.219.225 | 28-Mar-07/2:35 AM | Reply
I have changed my mind. Subverting the haiku is the only art.
[n/a] jessicazee @ 24.160.240.223 > richa | 26-Apr-07/2:28 AM | Reply
That, and totally surfing the web so hard.
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