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Whispers the Pariah (Free verse) by Enkidu
Dispose of this insipid wretch Don't listen to him prattle Would you prefer his serpent gab He'd most prefer a battle Of tongue Of wit Of liquid charm His clamor ripe with pins Deception paints his pallet Whilst crude light Bursts from within Just listen to his fallow fancy Be so rapt and coy Lie in sheets of poesy Asphyxiated by his ploy Mountain gives to suckling shore As gloaming prays for sun So whispers the pariah Of your fickle flesh undone

Up the ladder: prove me wrong
Down the ladder: Blue

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7968
Posted: March 17, 2007 1:56 AM PDT; Last modified: March 17, 2007 1:56 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 208.127.114.209 | 18-Mar-07/8:11 PM | Reply
Take the l out of suckling
[8] Skamper @ 202.6.132.194 | 23-Mar-07/9:41 PM | Reply
Nice/twisted/descriptive and fast!
I like the suckling as it feels like the shore is a parasite on the mountains it washes upon.
Not sure about using 'from' in the line...bursts from within...Reads just as well without, humble opinion only.
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