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Guarded Fool (Free verse) by drnick Inside your
simple system
I wish to
be imprisoned,
with rules
and regulations
I will grow.
Containment cannot
break me,
but I hope that
it will make me
a cold and lonely
soldier strongly sewed.
Within my
strengthened skin,
I will hide
and not let in
any single person
near or far.
While in this
solemn state,
I dream to have
what it takes
to feel and be alive
without guard.
Up the ladder:
Crossing the Mojave
Down the ladder:
Shower
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Posted: March 24, 2007 4:27 PM PDT; Last modified: March 24, 2007 4:27 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.190725 Overall Rank: 4728 Comments:
[8]
Dovina @ 208.127.114.163
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24-Mar-07/4:33 PM
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Reply
Either join the army or a woman. The last two lines suggest the latter, and so do I.
[7]
richa @ 81.179.219.225
> Dovina
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25-Mar-07/12:14 PM
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Reply
Join a woman. How about superglue her ear to her toe.
[n/a]
drnick @ 24.247.112.155
> richa
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29-Mar-07/3:12 PM
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Reply
How about I staple it instead with my .40?
[n/a]
drnick @ 24.247.112.155
> Dovina
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29-Mar-07/3:12 PM
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Reply
Women don't like me.
Love this! So stringent, seems to hold form of a rhyme scheme then loses it, excellently played out, not only in words but in the way the mind tries to be bound by form, only to lose it and let it flow...make sense? I usually don't...
Thanks, I get what you're saying but that wasn't intentional.
This must be about children. You teach them rules and in psychoguff terms they internalise those rules and then when the rules are removed they grow into upstanding chaps. The poem is rubbish if my theory is incorrect.
I'm glad you held hope that a poem of mine was not rubbish, but perhaps this is because you don't know me. This poem is, as all of mine are, up for the reader to decide. It's whatever you think it's about.
Like it. Reminds me of a passage from Slaughterhouse 5 - "How nice - to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive".
I'm glad I could remind you of anything to do with slaughter. That is my purpose.
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