Re: Broken Clay by donmiguel1960	16-Apr-07/7:04 PM
There's a good sentiment here that could be a good poem. Get rid of half the commas (faith, that - for example); clean up the grammar; and get rid of excess words (now in the last line, just in the penultimate line) and fix the spelling - families, their.
Re: The Sunnyside of David Uden by lukehanney	30-Apr-07/2:49 PM
Please don't vote for yourself, especially with a 10; and do use apostrophes where grammar demands, not just where you want them. I'd give a 7, but 4 instead, to balance your 10.
Re: Castle of Pandas IV by FreeFormFixation	30-Apr-07/2:53 PM
"awaker" doesn't cut it. And the last two verses wander off somewhere. The first 4 verses are nice.
Re: again it happnes by skaskowski	30-Apr-07/2:59 PM
Clean up the first sentence. Quit a whimsy, dream or trip.
Re: Worn Ruse by drnick	30-Apr-07/3:03 PM
Is she "in" a worn ruse, or acting it? And if it's worn (as in seen by him before) why is he not seeing through it?
Re: requiem for the dead generation by Prince of Void	1-May-07/9:51 AM
A strangely familiar feeling about the now-ended cold war with Russia. Or is it over? Look at my recent poem in your name.
Re: Fraser Allonby Quidnam Cruris by Stephen Robins	10-May-07/12:55 PM
There once was a blob named Dovina, Christ, you'd have wept had you seen her, All of that weight, Squeeze into four feet and eight, She had the combined mass of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Pedaling west, halfway across Virginia tomorrow I'll crest the Appalachians just 3500 miles to go can you imagine the ruts in pavement? Where's Fraser? Haven't seen him all day.
Re: Snow by MacFrantic	10-May-07/12:57 PM
The first four lines portend a good poem, but the rest only continues to portend, never getting to the snow
Re: The Wingman by John Rambo	10-May-07/1:00 PM
That isn't why. It's what you can get.
Re: The boomerang holiday by INTRANSIT	10-May-07/1:05 PM
It's aged and antique compared to your style, but has a nice ring and a good point. those "who" think us . . . "fallest greenest" is just silly
Re: Altitude by half.italian	10-May-07/1:09 PM
Can't see the point of this.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-07/1:16 PM
The title's cute and clever. And the bird is hero, cannonballs like birdshot. Line 4: "of the sky"
Re: Final Moon by Caducus	10-May-07/1:27 PM
Really like; "My eyes, slave wet, journeyed through yours." Been there, done that; and that's what makes a poem. Do you mean "voile"?
Re: garden spite by skaskowski	16-May-07/4:08 AM
Start with "I rip down the gate . . ." But for what reason you want to do this I can't see.
Re: behind the banister by FreeFormFixation	16-May-07/4:12 AM
The colons in verse 1 are just silly. Do you mean hopped? The rest is pretty good, but too much repetition.
Re: My Soul Cries Out by amanda_dcosta	18-May-07/1:24 PM
Like a psalm. David's were just as honest.
Re: The Ascent by somemorepoetry	21-May-07/12:51 PM
I hope this is about a real mountain experience. It sounds like it is, but you hedge too much. Bring it closer to what ordinary people understand, and give up some of the weird language. Sounds like a good story.
Re: A Future by forsaken	21-May-07/12:53 PM
Check the spelling and get rid of the duplications.
Re: Ode to Jack by Skamper	22-May-07/11:09 AM
And poetry is lost - And since romance is the beauty of things far away or gone, let the poetry of who Jack was roll on. May parents were not nearly as romantic during their lives as they are now. I like this.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-May-07/11:11 AM
Verses 1 and 2 are wordy and weak. The rest is good.