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Altitude (Free verse) by half.italian
With thoughts like helium whispers my mind billows out Reconfigured for weaving connections into intricate architechture. They build and join, scatter and duplicate until collapse Leaving bare copper on an unwinding coil.

Up the ladder: the comet
Down the ladder: Love Bruises

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.8
Weighted score: 4.9761596
Overall Rank: 8303
Posted: April 12, 2007 1:06 AM PDT; Last modified: May 5, 2007 12:15 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Prince of Void @ 80.71.124.166 | 1-May-07/1:59 PM | Reply
Poems are made by us
One of us shall see
What we paint
Upon the blank page
That depicts what shall be unseen
In the heart of meanings
When the heart is pathless
When no poem shall go uncommented
Where poems and oceans cross each other
In the horizon of poets' dreams

[7] pete @ 62.56.114.137 | 7-May-07/3:56 PM | Reply
an unwinding coil, eh? ... wassat? helium whispers is nice
[5] Dovina @ 24.38.49.2 | 10-May-07/1:09 PM | Reply
Can't see the point of this.
[n/a] half.italian @ 76.172.249.205 > Dovina | 10-May-07/8:38 PM | Reply
Ever done acid?
[0] daniella @ 201.212.77.26 | 20-May-07/9:26 PM | Reply
i'm sorry, it's just not well written.
[9] nypoet22 @ 74.225.66.5 | 28-May-07/7:49 AM | Reply
the last stanza should be split into two lines. i like the ending, but for it to have the impact i think you want, you have to introduce the coil image earlier. 'intricate architecture' could be improved upon to tie the beginning and end together.
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