Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

A Night-Croucher's Journey (Sonnet) by Everyone
I grab the roll, hold tight, and off I run To the wood shed, my throat all gasps and yells. I cling and look below: the scent of dun Sweeter to me than finest mill'ner's smells. A heap of rounded pearls my bow'ls of rock Must soon augment or they may quite explode; It's coming near, tho' when it comes the shock Resounde from Vauxhall Bridge to Hampstead Road. A sudden breath. It drops. A thud of thunder. Dizzy and asham'd, I wipe my sweat soak'd brow, Mull o'er the coilings, grumbling as I blunder, "They say it's better out than in, and how!" Though stain'd and weaken'd, I must crouch back out Hoping none see with all this browne about.

Up the ladder: Somber Like My Pain
Down the ladder: Homecoming

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.8
Weighted score: 4.9761596
Overall Rank: 8377
Posted: April 29, 2004 6:08 AM PDT; Last modified: April 29, 2004 9:03 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 | 30-Apr-04/2:13 AM | Reply
A good try, but all poemes about escaped negroes must end with their capture. Any poeme that doesn't highlight the futility of trying to escape is only likely to rekindle that awful twinkle they get in their eyes when they think "I'm not a slave - I'm a human being". I once had to shoot a whole herd because of that.
[10] zodiac @ 24.93.71.47 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 30-Apr-04/3:42 AM | Reply
[10] zodiac @ 24.93.71.47 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 30-Apr-04/3:56 AM | Reply
It was originally 'A Night-Watchman's Journey', but I couldn't fit enough about Night-watchmen in, so I dropped the idea. Suffice to say, the language is not at all Negro.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > zodiac | 30-Apr-04/8:12 AM | Reply
I see. The use of the verb crouch (which -=Dark_Angel=- had coined in the commentary on The Negro) and the last line made me think it was about an escaped negro. I now realise it is merely an tale from the outhouse. You fail.
263 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001