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behind the banister (Free verse) by FreeFormFixation
We met eye-to-eye; you: on the desk, me: in the chair. I wish I really understood why you hopeed through my window that night. Calico, how can you sit up on the windowsill looking so sweet? You'll tear me in strips. While I sleep, you'll rip me to bits. But I'll chase you off. I'll chase you off. Get off my lawn, get off my lawn get off my lawn. Calico, I'll never know why you came. But I know why you stay. You'll tear me in strips. You'll rip me to bits. But I'll chase you off, get off my lawn. I came home from work and the bedskirt was frayed, the curtains pulled down from their poles. The carpet was shredded as if you meant to say, in your own little take on a note: "I'll be home before you know I'm gone. I've got better things to do." Love, Calico


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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5785
Posted: May 15, 2007 11:29 AM PDT; Last modified: May 15, 2007 11:29 AM PDT
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sca

Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 24.75.174.198 | 16-May-07/4:12 AM | Reply
The colons in verse 1 are just silly. Do you mean hopped?

The rest is pretty good, but too much repetition.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 86.135.255.234 > Dovina | 16-May-07/4:00 PM | Reply
I like colons. I hope to do for the colon what Ezra Pound did for the forward slash.
[10] Skamper @ 202.6.130.219 | 17-May-07/1:35 AM | Reply
Chilling.
Lyrical and a little mad.
[7] sca @ 124.191.64.6 | 6-Jun-07/1:48 AM | Reply
Is calico a cat or a dog?

Albeit you've got hopeed instead of hopped, at least, but I like your style. I guess I like a bit of skittish madness in the form of freeform, lol.
Come to think of it, I've never been a fan of form (because I can't master it myself ;))

=> Jess
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