poemranker ::Snow by MacFrantic

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Free verse № 151768

Snow

Member since 2003 · Posted 6 May 2007 · 4 comments

Cradles swaddle stones of sadly broken infant bones. Crying mothers spit blue fireflies at the moon. Police in camouflage and brass caps stop to sing the blues. Neon eyes wink past the sunset's sinking swoon. Maybe we'll be lovers in a dream or in a book about despair I want to feel the auburn waves crash in your hair But if it's loneliness you crave I'll give back every gaze you gave and fall a thousand times upon you from the sky When there's nothing left to breathe In baths of blood and smoke we grieve I'll drive a cold cold mile.

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mean 5.60 weighted 5.07 rank 6595 views 140 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[4] pete 7-May-07/3:48 PM Reply
poweful opening swooned into greeting-card land
[6] Dovina 10-May-07/12:57 PM Reply
The first four lines portend a good poem, but the rest only continues to portend, never getting to the snow
[10] Skamper 19-May-07/4:31 PM Reply
I felt the ice
[8] nypoet22 20-May-07/11:50 AM Reply
the first two stanzas i like. the word loneliness stands out a bit as telling, not showing, in an otherwise pretty good third stanza. the last three lines really aren't necessary, and the poem would be much better were they omitted.