Re: Summer Song by wilco	2-Sep-05/3:04 PM
This is really good. I don't mean to make assumptions on your influences, but this does actually sound like a lot of Wilco lyrics.
Re: The Observer by Jeremi B. Handrinos	12-May-05/8:51 AM
*belief instead of believe Comes off as somewhat pretentious, and loses its focus somewhat in the third part (after "because they are the same").
Re: On the Bank of Lake Michigan by jessicazee	12-May-05/8:49 AM
good imagery
Re: a comment on a way to pass time by unknown^user	12-May-05/7:59 AM
You're right. It's not really about anyone in particular. Is about a certain type of person at a certain time, but it happens to everyone. I am sorry that you're deprived of "Law & Order" though. In the US, it's always showing on at least one channel at almost any given moment. It's one of those shows that no one really likes, but they just watch, myself included.
Re: chris (not finished yet) by eliznhaz	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Is "without out" in the first line a typo? You may want to considering adding line breaks, especially where things rhyme like at "me" and at "day." There needs to be some sort of punctuation between "around you" and "I got out."
Re: Ooooo..that smell by windyone	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Is this an addition to the Lynyrd Skynyrd song?
Re: farmer's market by fair12	12-Aug-04/9:04 AM
I love your use of color. "burry (sic) itself beneath copper blankets" is a great line. The only issue I have is with the thought of the fourth stanza continuing into the fifth so fluidly since no other stanzas do this.
Re: a comment on Corner of 30th and Tibbs by klosterfobik	11-Aug-04/8:53 PM
That's kind of a random question. But no, sorry, it's actually the only residential tower in the business district of Downtown Tucson. I work in the suburbs though, if that helps. And not to try to be overly picky, but I just hate to see that same mistake: contractions are always on the letter that you cut out (i.e. - can't, aren't, don't, etc.)
Re: The Hundredth End by versus_u	11-Aug-04/8:22 PM
I like a few individual lines in this, especially "To steal dots and mimic lines." I assume "down under" refers to "inside," but I can't help seeing it as a sexual reference in this context.
Re: Corner of 30th and Tibbs by klosterfobik	11-Aug-04/8:17 PM
I really don't understand a lot of the language in this. What is/are "the recent new of guiltless lovers?"
Re: The Sky and the Pond by somemorepoetry	10-Aug-04/9:36 PM
This is very well-written. I'm always drawn to these poems which seem to expand the reflection of a single moment and tell a story of feelings instead of events. I especially like this because it really made no sense to me until I read into the things that seemed out of place. I feel that the introduction of the characters is a little too strong since the conclusion doesn't really wrap up their stories.
Re: A beautiful moment by freelancejoker	10-Aug-04/2:06 PM
Easy for most nature lovers to identify with, and your use of repetitions is well-received, at least by me. Looks like a lot of effort and appreciation went into this. Have to knock you for giving your own poem a 10 though (remember, your IP is always logged whether logged in or not). Well done though.
Re: One dot.And the rest is our lives by Prince of Void	10-Aug-04/12:35 PM
More visual art than poetry, especially when taken in a poetic context, but powerful nonetheless.
Re: a comment on Punk Rock Christmas by unknown^user	10-Aug-04/12:06 PM
Touché! Reads like the warning on a side mirror though.
Re: A Rally by hobojo	10-Aug-04/12:04 PM
Aye, good cleaning up. Also, I have a problem with "I sat in a cloud." With all of the Western imagery associated with clouds, it's difficult to put yourself in (or on) one and still have the reader believe that you are lonesome and/or depressed. Think of Zeuss, angels, and of course, Mick Jagger!
Re: a comment on Punk Rock Christmas by unknown^user	10-Aug-04/8:44 AM
Well put. The faceless anonymity of the Internet, and this community specifically, provide us with the opportunity for receiving honest, unbiased, and sometimes harsh constructive criticism. I consider this a blessing and is why I come back. I would ask that comments such as the previous not be posted publicly so as not to discourage the more shy who might otherwise have something to add, but hesitate for fear of reprisal from users whom they would criticize. If you feel a need to vent, do so through poetry, that's what it's there for.
Re: a comment on Punk Rock Christmas by unknown^user	10-Aug-04/8:36 AM
In this instance, "raver" implies an individual who attends raves. They ironically have the reputation for being over-friendly, as is one of the effects of the drug ecstasy.
Re: OLD AGE BLUES by massangel62	9-Aug-04/8:02 PM
"being ate"? You push those verb conjugations far enough and they'll scream at ya. Rambling, and the ending is just plain cheesy. Plus, the rhyming is so rigid that there's no room for the rhythm to get off, but it still does. Sorry.
Re: Two Mirrors by Dovina	9-Aug-04/7:23 PM
Bitter resignment. I only take slight issue with the isolation/cages metaphor. It's a little too overused. Thought about starting a new stanza at "familiar smells"?
Re: Missing Grand Miss. by timtonio	6-Aug-04/12:04 PM
Something about this just reminds of a Doobie Brothers' song (I think it's obvious which one). I love the subject and the language, but the 3rd staza seems out of place amongst those same elements.