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a way to pass time (Free verse) by unknown^user
It started with Mary she sits alone, watching Law & Order, with snakes in her belly the sounds and sights of a lonesome lamppost her breath, radiating and hovering over the dim lights. Like a lost diary, the hurt reveals itself in the dreams forgetting the words, but recalling the phonetics the trouble when everything is hectic, immersed wrapping up pictures in newspaper, tapered-off It starts with a Life but soon stops, carefully dictating the memorable minutes the hours and awes, and an improv ending its undertow, falling and leaving only the pale black lines. "I am a world," she says alone in the empty room but the world is no longer listening, self-absorbed outside, everything is deafening, whole, infinite indefinite, but still real, everything ends here.

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0397344
Overall Rank: 7131
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 4, 2005 11:40 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 17.255.240.6 | 3-May-05/2:29 PM | Reply
Not enough poetic character. Call it an esay.
[8] zodiac @ 212.118.19.111 | 7-May-05/4:56 AM | Reply
This is good. Don't listen to Dovina. Like she'd know.
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 7-May-05/6:40 AM | Reply
He says its good because you've written about him, his world, no longer listening, indefinite, but still real. Hey, this really is good. I've raised my vote.
[8] zodiac @ 212.118.19.234 > Dovina | 8-May-05/10:32 PM | Reply
Silly.

unknown^user hasn't written about anybody or anybody's world. That much should be obvious. Besides, I don't get Law & Order in my world (though I do, Alhamidulillah, get a watered-down 'Daily Show' about once a week). I dissed you because your poems are the most consistently essay-like on poemranker. About half the time, they're the most user's-manual-like, actually.
[n/a] unknown^user @ 128.196.6.126 > zodiac | 12-May-05/7:59 AM | Reply
You're right. It's not really about anyone in particular. Is about a certain type of person at a certain time, but it happens to everyone.
I am sorry that you're deprived of "Law & Order" though. In the US, it's always showing on at least one channel at almost any given moment. It's one of those shows that no one really likes, but they just watch, myself included.
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