poemranker ::9. The Second Life by A db C

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Free verse № 145042

9. The Second Life

by A db C

Member since 2006 · Posted 9 Aug 2006 · 2 comments

Arising, awakening, dizzy, shaking Inside another body, person I do not remember being, seeing. Arms, elbows, wrists, veins Actuating tremors, spasms; Before arising to a new brain. Legs, knees, back ache As this body gets to its feet, Another person with all my pains. Glancing over the shoulder To see survivors finding cover From flames and petrol fumes That rise as a choking pillar To illuminate the gloom. Walking off into the woods, The trees by the A14; A shortcut to the office To leave the morning, The crash victims behind me.

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2 comments

[8] Ranger 12-Aug-06/1:13 AM Reply
Good concept - is this following on from your other posts? you seem to have a well-thought story going on throughout. Actually, it seems a bit like an intro to an X-Files style story - I'd like to see how it concludes.

As for the poetics, it feels a little rough-edged to me. I think you've done the drafting, now for the crafting :-)
[8] ALChemy 12-Aug-06/8:53 AM Reply
That'll teach you to get on a charter flight with John Denver and JFK Jr.