Re: Summer crush by sk8rs_rule_all	3-Aug-04/10:10 AM
The juvenile innocence conveyed by the writing is definitely cute and amplifies the subject matter. The blaring spelling errors though are just a little too much to give it that Toys r' Us backwards R quality which may have made it too juvenile anyway.
Re: May Monday Explanation by MacFrantic	2-Aug-04/4:49 PM
Love it! Especially the use of sequential numbers as an introduction. Concise, abrupt and blount, but I still have that clear image of a tired commuter waiting for a train. What is the commute good for if not to let us dwell on our own depression? Only small critique is that "But in of itself" is a little confusing. Still though, great.
Re: As the people become more hollow by Prince of Void	2-Aug-04/4:44 PM
The poem makes you (the writer) come off as arrogant. I like the image of the tiny ray keeping away the darkness, but "Led me find myself" doesn't really work grammatically and sounds awkward when spoken. You may want to either change it to "Led me to find myself" or "Let me find myself." It just depends on what you want to project.
Re: Mushroom Potion #9 by <{Baba^Yaga}>	2-Aug-04/12:25 PM
One of the better synopses of a mushroom trip that I've seen. Agreed about the last stanza though. Maybe a little too conversational to blend with the rest of the work. You do have some good imagery there, and it would be a shame to waste it, so maybe just try and incorporate it with the rhythm of previous stanzas.
Re: a comment on ...So We Stayed In The Water by Fear of Garbage	11-May-04/2:32 PM
What are you talking about? That's a contraction, and a correct one at that. I enjoyed the fantastical (or is it the hallucinogenic?) element of this, but it just doesn't seem original to me for some reason.