poemranker ::...So We Stayed In The Water by Fear of Garbage

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Free verse № 101442

...So We Stayed In The Water

Member since 2003 · Posted 11 May 2004 · 5 comments

It was hot, so we stayed in the water. Dug holes in the pavement to stay cool underground. We eat spiders as our lunch, eat them as our brunch, eat them legs first and then the body. Wholly. They cover me, cover me like insects. Chatter, chatter teeth. The summer is dark, the brick is hot and the pool’s been cut off like a root. Chatter, chatter teeth! The heat is dark fruit. I walk down the street crying, “Endless, endless!” How hideous the anomaly. My feet are sunburnt. My mouth is a dark fruit. Chatter, chatter teeth. I begin to wake, but there is no sense in waiting for the angel or the rain. Chatter, chatter teeth! The heat is a cut vein.

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.54 rank 2615 views 205 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

A favorite of zodiac.

5 comments

[8] richa 11-May-04/11:56 AM Reply
It was all going swimmingly until the end of the first verse, then it became a bit incoherent.

N.B. 'The pool has' not the pool's possessive.
[7] unknown^user › richa 11-May-04/2:32 PM Reply
What are you talking about? That's a contraction, and a correct one at that.

I enjoyed the fantastical (or is it the hallucinogenic?) element of this, but it just doesn't seem original to me for some reason.
[8] wilco 11-May-04/1:09 PM Reply
Hmmmm, I don't much care for spiders....kind of freaks me out...
[10] zodiac 12-May-04/6:13 AM Reply
The best part is the spiders that cover you like insects.
[9] Goad › zodiac 8-Feb-05/5:34 PM Reply
nah, the best part is "no sense in waiting for the angel or the rain"

she has two, three lines like that in every fucking poem. Some two unexpectedly combined words that just stun me, bursting in the brain with fractals of association and meaning.