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chris (not finished yet) (Free verse) by eliznhaz
I can't sleep without out the thoughts of you invade my dreams. You are
so beautiful to me, when I open my eyes you are all I see. Your blue
eyes they haunt each moment of my day. I would give anything for the
feeling I have for you to just go away, for I know you don't feel the
same for me.
The things I'd do just to be around you I go out of my way each and
everyday just to see your face, to see that smile you always give me.
this poem is not done it needs to be fixed bad
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 2.5
Weighted score: 4.7019925
Overall Rank: 12007
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 5, 2005 8:12 AM PDT
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Comments:
200 view(s)
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You may want to considering adding line breaks, especially where things rhyme like at "me" and at "day."
There needs to be some sort of punctuation between "around you" and "I got out."