Re: a comment on Then what is the sleeve? by T. Jonathron Remp	zodiac 212.118.19.75	1-Aug-05/10:28 PM
In poetry, "concrete" means the poem is in the shape of something. Do you mean to suggest this poem is shaped like a sleeve?
Re: a comment on End of Me by sonawrote	zodiac 212.118.19.75	1-Aug-05/10:20 PM
I know. But it took me about 15 minutes after leaving the internet cafe to realize you were probably thinking of the expression "صانع ذهب" (Saana' dhahab), or goldsmith. If that's the case صانع means "smith, maker, or manufacturer", not gold. Since posting the message above, I've asked Jordanians, Iraqis, Saudis, Egyptians, Syrians, and Lebanese if they know any other word for gold than "dhahab". They don't. I know exactly what Arabs say for "hot" and "cool", slang and otherwise. In fact, I'm pretty weak at standard and Quraanic Arabic, spending most of my time communicating in a slangy dialect my wife and I call Arabic Jive.
Re: More drugs. by darby pyn	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	1-Aug-05/5:20 PM
'while you spin in your skin' - best part.
Re: Wars Between Held Breath's by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	1-Aug-05/4:59 PM
Great title.
Re: a comment on Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	1-Aug-05/4:54 PM
I give you the apostrophe. Not the periods. The sentences have been cut by the stanzas. Why? Because of my breathing, I think. As for the meaning of the poem, well, I'm afraid that if I try to explain it I'll ruin my chances of getting across what doesn't seem to make sense. If you know what I mean.
Re: The Shape of Shadows by MacFrantic	pennymarie 4.246.108.16	1-Aug-05/11:47 AM
I really really like this V1: Inside of us all A lingering loneliness After the fall I'm sure it will find us Of this I'm... Breaking away Finding a darker place [FINDING A DARKENED PLACE] Finding some shade where I can Rest my head and rest my anger Chorus: You know it's true The truth that makes my blood turn black You know it's true And if I could I'd give the truth right back [I LOVE THESE 2] Finding all the broken corners Where you left us all behind To save yourself From the darkness The shape of shadows in your mind V2: Lead me today Follow the road that cuts my heels Far and away I'm sure we'll escape now Of this I'm... Lying in silence Fearful of sight and pain[FEARFUL OF MY INVASIVE PAIN] Finding the point where all these Ghosts came from to walk in my dreams [ THIS NEEDS A LITTLE WORK IT DOESN'T FLOW WELL] SEARCHING FOR THE POINT, ALL THESE GHOSTS INVADED OR CRASHED MY DREAMS hope I could help.. this was very good Penny
Re: she sits back and judges me by hendrimike	pennymarie 4.246.108.16	1-Aug-05/11:35 AM
maybe needs a little more descriptive wording to get a really good mental picture penny
Re: Life is not serious by daggatolar	pennymarie 4.246.108.16	1-Aug-05/11:33 AM
wow, so true how many blame God first then other people places and things... forgiveness is the way to heaven? makes one think about the bitterness eating at the hearts of many indiviguals.. great Penny
Re: writers block by Jesus' Pedometer	pennymarie 4.246.108.16	1-Aug-05/11:25 AM
lol...we are all there some deeper then others.. let each word flow till they fill the page Penny
Re: More drugs. by darby pyn	pennymarie 4.246.108.16	1-Aug-05/11:22 AM
oh I hope that you are not talking from experience.. but if you are this is very vivid and very emotional.. been there on the other side of the fit and I no it's no fun actually it's pretty scary stuff.. but well done in description! Penny
Re: Mandrakes by Caducus	Caducus 172.203.96.186	1-Aug-05/9:32 AM
granted - its rough as a rhinos arse please help.
Re: Thoughts by drnick	Dovina 85.169.62.90	1-Aug-05/8:50 AM
The first verse is good; I hoped you would develop that theme. Instead, you contrqdict yourself.
Re: Intersection by D. $ Fontera	Dovina 85.169.62.90	1-Aug-05/8:45 AM
If we all followed your advice in the first verse, we'd do better. Good;
Re: she sits back and judges me by hendrimike	Dovina 85.169.62.90	1-Aug-05/8:41 AM
I feel it. Good.
Re: Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic	Dovina 85.169.62.90	1-Aug-05/8:39 AM
Some inconsistencies in punctuation: leaves' spoke. rustling. But what are you saying?
Re: You, the Line, and I by MacFrantic	Dovina 85.169.62.90	1-Aug-05/8:34 AM
I hate these lines beween us, but see them too. The other line could be death, but could be the anti-line. I hope so.
Re: a comment on Polar Bearings by impert&ent	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	1-Aug-05/7:46 AM
I've got two questions about this. 1. Which part of what I said? 2. Of those infinite lines, how many definite lines would you draw between you and the coffee, and how many would you draw on the other side of you and the coffee, but between (you+coffee) and I? None? One? Many?
Re: As the Weary Try to Rest by AnotherNothing	daggatolar 195.166.242.114	1-Aug-05/7:00 AM
I detest the rhymes they puntuate the flow of the rhythm and meaning of this poem , they draw you from meaning to mere sound
Re: BY ALL YOUR HEART by prettyktm	daggatolar 195.166.242.114	1-Aug-05/6:38 AM
Ilike the simplicity of the read to the lips, what is poetry, if not the tongue, the lips and the head in unism...
Re: You, the Line, and I by MacFrantic	daggatolar 195.166.242.114	1-Aug-05/6:28 AM
how we go from resolution made to more resolute and cannot turn back,... learn those who can make it work they should not foul their chance for coming back after the line is drawn may only earn another hard- put line... love this....