Re: Distraction by zodiac	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	1-Aug-05/4:27 AM
Your poems are puzzle boxes that don't belong in most parts of today's sociaty. Nowadays people want things served on a silver platter. You've got to trick folks into working their brains.
Re: Thoughts by drnick	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	1-Aug-05/3:32 AM
Ditch the third verse. This is a thinkers poem. There's no place for melodrama. The last line isn't much of a revelation and it could end many different ways and still be as thought prevoking. ie. "is to not be alone" or "will never be shown" or "is the journey your on". The answer of answers should be a big surprise even if it's not.
Re: a comment on THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK by prettyktm	prettyktm 203.115.81.186	1-Aug-05/1:37 AM
NO I am an INDIAN and I live in the land of mystery called INDIA.
Re: a comment on BY ALL YOUR HEART by prettyktm	prettyktm 203.115.81.186	1-Aug-05/1:11 AM
hi,thanks for your concered and your comment,most of the time my poems are taken for my own personal experience,but that's not so anyway,right now I'm searching for that thing call love and what with the heavy rain fall in my city bombay,guess my dream boy is swim in those waters trying to reach me.take care.
Re: What?! by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	31-Jul-05/11:30 PM
Reads well if read rather fast...why have the choice of we never choose, indeed! Doing nothing IS doing something...it is a choice, and feeds some thing or another, some side or another, promotes one thing or another...as does silence! (Especially when you want to scream!)
Re: a comment on A rhyme with no place to go. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.197	31-Jul-05/11:16 PM
Thank you Lady poet. I'm a musician so the line between songwriting and poetry often cross. thanks again.
Re: a comment on The Worst Poem Ever Created (edited) by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	31-Jul-05/10:04 PM
Not sad! It means you get invited to come click glasses with the chosen few! (LOL) I have always found it ironic that my very favorite poems just kinda roll out, and usually are better left un-messed with, and usually take just as long as it takes my hand to scribble it onto paper! The more I work and rework, the worse they become. If it doesn't flow, I know to just put it away, or throw it away, or add it to the scraps that can later be looked at to catapult me into a writing frenzy! LOL! (I DO mess around with my puncuation...ugh! I DO need to find a miniature editor/English-teacher to sit on my shoulder!)
Re: a comment on This Just In... by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	31-Jul-05/9:57 PM
I have seen the news...thanks...and I would suggest BBC and news from country other than the USA. You would think with free speech and free press we could actually get a clear picture of what is going on in the world. Politics has its hands in everything. Distractions sent over the airwaves, to keep us from troubling ourselves with the rest of the world. *(Rant, rant)Okay, that said...I bet you could do a better job of saying what you are trying to say in your poem.
Re: a comment on Then what is the sleeve? by T. Jonathron Remp	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	31-Jul-05/9:50 PM
Most amused...I give your reply a 9! (and how can you write with such eloquence, as this comment shows, and yet I find no hint of such within your posted poem?!) I think I will make a point of investigating your other stuff, snooping in the far corners, so to speak...surely you've something to say, somewhere. I expect to be pleasantly suprised...
Re: a comment on End of Me by sonawrote	sonawrote 205.188.116.198	31-Jul-05/8:05 PM
learning a language is not always by dictated use of a word defined in a dictionary much as in engish a foreigner may not understand why teenage girls call a guy "hot" or "cool" and that the referance is good but cold or burnt is bad..... When I was adopted I inherited a great family,Grandma taught me well and my elders 17:13-17:15 Koran And We have made every man's actions to cling to his neck, and We will bring forth to him on the resurrection day a book which he will find wide open: Read your book; your own self is sufficient as a reckoner against you this day. Whoever goes aright, for his own soul does he go aright; and whoever goes astray, to its detriment only does he go astray: nor can the bearer of a burden bear the burden of another, nor do We chastise until We raise an apostle
Re: a comment on Suicide by jessicazee	jessicazee 152.163.100.195	31-Jul-05/5:38 PM
Ain't you sweet, like a 2-liter of Sun Country wine cooler. Thanks.
Re: a comment on she sits back and judges me by hendrimike	hendrimike 70.18.179.39	31-Jul-05/12:46 PM
i completely changed this poem from it's early days of f you f you f you to this...i don't know if it is better, but whatever
Re: a comment on The Worst Poem Ever Created (edited) by drnick	drnick 24.247.124.75	31-Jul-05/9:04 AM
The whole nature of this poem is to invoke confusion at all times, even when rating. Is it sad that I can't write the worst poem ever even when I try? I think so.
Re: a comment on This Just In... by drnick	drnick 24.247.124.75	31-Jul-05/8:55 AM
Ya, I noticed the lack of a comma after I posted it. I was trying to point out how the news delivers us only what they want us to see, which is usually nothing to be happy about. To me, it seems as though they are trying to make the world seem worse than it really is. Maybe you've never seen the news.
Re: a comment on Then what is the sleeve? by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 70.242.144.135	31-Jul-05/8:36 AM
Thanks for the advice. I do try to keep my poems as concrete as possible nowadays, having been brow beaten by some of the most tangible poets (or, I should say poets of some of the most tangible poems, although the men themselves were also quite corporeal), I have been relegated to write with the most concrete, or as you would say, undisconnected formulation as I possibly can achieve without the advocacy of reality-anchoring drugs. You should have seen some of my earlier work: barely a word of English ever even appeared, and one of my poems included an actual (and quite foul smelling, I might add) corpse of a deceased armadillo. If I remember correctly, it was immediately follwed by a semicolon in that particular poem.
Re: End of Me by sonawrote	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	31-Jul-05/8:03 AM
I am going to take the time, because I really like this one, so full of truths, and so naked you bore yourself. I use to> I used to (corrected), the sparse use of commas needs fixing. It needs many commas, (end of line 2)and periods at the ends of sentences. "be held in your arms(.)" 'your quirky laugh'(.) or (;) 'love, that we once shared'> take out the comma. 'and wish you understood how deep it was'> and wished you understood...and wish you could have understood (?)...needs a change here. The use of 'became' became monotonous, consider mixing in some other words in place of 'became'. ("I used to" did not get on my nerves with its repeated use, but maybe you could use other words in some places of its use, as well.> "I once" or "Once, I" "In time's past") "and now, here you were"> now says now, so should be "and now, here you are", or change, to> "and then, there you were" I was so desperate, not to give up all those years > I was so desperate to not give up all those years. (take out the comma.) became bitterness, and I feel alone> became/felt or becomes/ feel. Drug became his mistress...get rid of "her" or him, or you will be the next casualty. (And maybe losing you will be the push he needs to get the help he needs, and Maybe, somewhere down the road, he will find his way back to himself...and you. Maybe then you won't want to devote the time to him, maybe you will. Take care of you...if you don't, who will? And if not for yourself, then for your child.)I gave you an 8 for content.
Re: you can't find me by daggatolar	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	31-Jul-05/7:26 AM
Check this over for spelling. I understand not using punctuation rather than using it in the wrong way...but this needs puntuaction to clear it up. "and i am not anything, the love you gave me once" work on the places where you break...a break was not called for here. Work on the format. I like some of the runs of thought and wording...with some work this would be a good piece.
Re: This Just In... by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	31-Jul-05/7:21 AM
Expierience would say to use spell checker before posting...(just a hint!) Needs a comma after blood. A period ofter tears. That said...I just don't see the point of this one. "It's a dark world, or is it? Can reality be so explicit?" <could be cut out, without any ill effects.
Re: The Shape of Shadows by MacFrantic	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	31-Jul-05/7:16 AM
This is the first lyrics posting that I actually kind of liked!
Re: If you're done, I'd like my Battle Axe please by D. $ Fontera	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.69	31-Jul-05/7:13 AM
I love this...I think I would change "I would most appreciate it If you considered returning" to 'if you'd consider returning'. and "before you get it back to me" perhaps would change 'get' to 'give', or 'return it to me?'