poemranker ::you can't find me by daggatolar

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Free verse № 128993

you can't find me

by daggatolar

Member since 2004 · Posted 29 Jul 2005 · 1 comment

deeper deep than the sea can reach down and yet my tears is not rain enough to mean to you i am in pain you are water down drown in rain so how can my own little lttle eye drops mean anything and i am not anything, the love you gave me once was everything life to me now you can't find me too down

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mean 2.67 weighted 4.72 rank 11894 views 232 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

1 comment

[4] LilMsLadyPoet 31-Jul-05/7:26 AM Reply
Check this over for spelling. I understand not using punctuation rather than using it in the wrong way...but this needs puntuaction to clear it up.

"and i am not

anything, the love you gave me once"
work on the places where you break...a break was not called for here. Work on the format. I like some of the runs of thought and wording...with some work this would be a good piece.