Re: Black and Orange by Enkidu	A db C 217.40.63.105	11-Aug-06/6:28 AM
Very good last line and first verse
Re: Something More by drnick	A db C 217.40.63.105	11-Aug-06/6:25 AM
Soothingly introspective, the lines You can only slow a force of nature. Like an avalanche arrive in the chaos. broke away from that soothing tone somewhat and whilst I see their necessity I cant precislely put my finger on it, but there is something that stops me giving this a 10 within those lines.
Re: a comment on 1a. Awaken by A db C	amanda_dcosta 202.164.140.158	11-Aug-06/2:09 AM
Yes, I'd like to suggest you split it further. This reads more like prose. Perhaps shorten your sentences/lines for stress or emphasis. And you don't have to be too detailed. You could give the same idea with just the imagery excluding the explanations. That would be more effective and will read poetically. Hope this is of help to you.
Re: a comment on A Poem For George Bush by Edna Sweetlove	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.149.27	10-Aug-06/4:39 PM
Brain-washed? I'm the one who's playing the contrarian here, not you. Ask any dullard on the street what they think about Iraq and they'll say "Blah blah WMD blah blah OIL blah blah HALIBURTON blah blah CIVIL WAR blah blah BUSH'S POODLE". I'm not saying everything is perfect in Iraq. I'm not saying people who disagree with regime change are stupid. I'm saying you're stupid. You aren't thinking for yourself. Your arguments are completely the first thing you hear from a concerned mother on Richard and Judy. They're utterly skin deep, utterly short-sighted, and utterly ignorant of the contradictions on BOTH sides of the fence. Consider Iraq as it was before the invasion. Plot its future in a world where nobody intervenes. Is it a bloodless path? Is it a path that leads closer to a long term solution to the problem? Is it a path that leads nowhere? When Saddam dies, who fills the vacuum? A democratic, federal government? A Zarqawi clone? Saddam's sons? Mother Teresa II? Bill Cosby? The coalition invades, innocent people die. The coalition ignores Iraq, innocent people die. What would you do?
Re: fuck you by gsosville	leonxic 70.244.48.17	10-Aug-06/1:21 PM
I think that comma should be a semicolon. The poem will still be real shitty, but at least it will look better.
Re: Love Squirts by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.82.204	10-Aug-06/11:50 AM
You bumboy friends will have a rough passage.
Re: Guilt Trip by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.82.204	10-Aug-06/11:48 AM
Crap.
Re: Mr. Pig's Theme by Mr. Pig	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.82.204	10-Aug-06/11:46 AM
Lovely.
Re: Fragrant Love by Engelbert Humpalot	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.82.204	10-Aug-06/11:40 AM
What a charming little tale. It reminds me of my late husband Bert. He would often get home late at night reeking of cheap aftershave after some nameless activities in the park with his bumboy friends.
Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:20 AM
Slop.
Re: a comment on Life Goes On by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:19 AM
You strike me as stupid.
Re: Life Goes On by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:18 AM
Sloppy shit but a very funny ending. I pissed my pants at that.
Re: 'Till Then by sliver	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:16 AM
Nicely written but a little too sentmental for me. I would have given it 9/10 except for the spelling mistake.... "Goodby" doesn't exist. The plural of goodbye is goodbyes
Re: Old Friends by sliver	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:14 AM
Quite nice really. Innocent and charming. Like me.
Re: Brackish by <~>	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:13 AM
This shows some promise but its content is far outweighed by its length. Edit, edit and then edit again.
Re: Cupid promised me, Nadine by Shardik	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:11 AM
This is ungrammatical and very poorly written. The punctuation is bad as well. If I were rude I would say it stinks. It stinks.
Re: The Queen Mum - A Tribute by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:09 AM
Very fucking amusing.
Re: A Poem For George Bush by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:08 AM
You could do a similar one for that repulsive Condo Rice. She makes me puke.
Re: A Sexy Crucifixion Poem by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:07 AM
I laughed so hard I pissed my Y-fronts.
Re: All Hail! All Hail! America The Golden! by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 194.154.22.54	10-Aug-06/10:05 AM
Malicious genius!